Episodes

Reviews

Analytics

Clips

June 21, 2019
Episode 274: No Such Thing As A Polite Baby
Japanese musical floorboards, how much meat is in a Pepperami, and where you'll find the rudest babies.
More info...
44 min
June 14, 2019
Episode 273: No Such Thing As A Scuba Diver Covered With Meat
Urine-tasting, relocating entire buildings and the thing that's more painful to tread on than fire.
More info...
40 min
June 7, 2019
Episode 272: No Such Thing As A Non-Judgemental Herring
The world's most fashionable accountant, disapproval-based herring migration, and the invention of veganism.
More info...
45 min
May 31, 2019
Episode 271: No Such Thing As A Safe Robot
Underwater dog treadmills, hitchhiking robots, and the late, late Elizabeth Taylor.
More info...
39 min
May 24, 2019
Episode 270: No Such Thing As BIG SHERLOCK HOLMES
Mona Lisa's wandering eye, coffee cups that grow on trees, and ancient Roman earlobe specialists.
More info...
43 min
May 17, 2019
Episode 269: No Such Thing As Singing The Sport
Live from Salford, Dan, James, Andrew and Anna discuss canine height restrictions, finch bite quotients, and the Manchester Of The East.
More info...
39 min
May 10, 2019
Episode 268: No Such Thing As Welsh Guinness
Live from Dublin, Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss miniature miniature trains, bees in mourning, and unholy transplants.
More info...
48 min
May 3, 2019
Episode 267: No Such Thing As Mission Impossible For Slugs
Live from Newcastle, Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss superglued frogs, how to get into an Ancient Turkish house, and the Oscar won by nobody.
More info...
38 min
April 26, 2019
Episode 266: No Such Thing As An Innocent Pisces Sign
Live from Cardiff, Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss Comic Sans engravings, nut products with no nuts, and transient jellyfish anuses.
More info...
42 min
April 19, 2019
Episode 265: No Such Thing As A Hole In The Bowl
Live from Redruth, Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss Disney-themed punishment, grandfather clocks, and George Eliot's massive right hand.
More info...
41 min
April 12, 2019
Episode 264: No Such Thing As Bikes In Space
Live from Barnstaple, Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss live scarecrows, the first ever caravan holiday, and the billionaire with only three things to say.
More info...
36 min
April 5, 2019
Episode 263: No Such Thing As Millipede Lipbalm
Live from Cambridge, Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss silk-spinning goats, the invention of the scooter, and millipede PR problems.
More info...
38 min
March 29, 2019
Episode 262: No Such Thing As A Man In A Wine Bottle
Live from the Eventim Apollo in Hammersmith, Dan, James. Anna and Andy discuss time-travelling swordfish, the actor who reviewed his own plays, and Waddington's cattle semen trading board game.
More info...
39 min
March 22, 2019
Episode 261: No Such Thing As A Chocolate Train
Live from Uffculme, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss chocolate gramophones, licking your own forehead and Icelandic sheep dating.
More info...
39 min
March 15, 2019
Episode 260: No Such Thing As A Giant War Sausage
Live from Aberdeen, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss the banning of sliced bread, broken turtle penises and muscly bums.Episode 260 - No Such Thing As A Giant War Sausage
More info...
35 min
March 8, 2019
Episode 259: No Such Thing As Flyagra
Live from Glasgow, Dan, James, Andrew and Anna discuss fly dating, 69ing on American roadways, and predicting the future with asparagus
More info...
40 min
March 1, 2019
Episode 258: No Such Thing As A Brutally Honest Yoga Mat
Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss plumbing detectives, guinea pigs in the freezer, and the Head of Cybersecurity who's never used a computer.
More info...
47 min
February 22, 2019
Episode 257: No Such Thing As A Squilkman
Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss kissing hedgehogs, the time on Saturn, and competitive ploughing.
More info...
39 min
February 15, 2019
Episode 256: No Such Thing As A Puddle Photographer
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss flirty cuttlefish, rooster beer and the best weather for starting a business.
More info...
43 min
February 8, 2019
Episode 255: No Such Thing as a Bouncy Asteroid
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss skimming meteors, snowy bacteria, and incorrectly formatted declarations of war.
More info...
46 min
February 1, 2019
Episode 254: No Such Thing As A Toilet In The Car
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss gingerbread in the toilet, the invention of wing mirrors, and silent movie bags.
More info...
38 min
January 25, 2019
Episode 253: No Such Thing As Dolphins At The United Nations
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss talking NASA dolphins, Robert Louis Stevenson's death and how any parents have a favourite child.
More info...
45 min
January 18, 2019
Episode 252: No Such Thing As The Shark Tooth Fairy
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss baby sharks, bankrupt lottery winners, and the city where the streets are paved with used toilet paper.
More info...
43 min
January 11, 2019
Episode 251: No Such Thing As An Accidental George
Anna, James, Andy and Anne discuss undercover restaurant reviewers, weightlifting cockroaches, and what to pack for a trip on the Orient Express.
More info...
46 min
January 4, 2019
Episode 250: No Such Thing As The Mysterious Chamber
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss demolishing the Great Pyramid of Giza, with the WWF logo is a panda, and psychopathic teenage angst.
More info...
45 min
December 28, 2018
Episode 249: No Such Thing As A Pint Of Wine
A compilation of the best deleted bits from the last year of Fish. Happy New Year!
More info...
37 min
December 25, 2018
Merry Christmas from Dan, James, Anna and Andy
Merry Christmas! Here's a bonus extract from the The Audiobook of The Year 2018, available to download. Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for more.
More info...
42 min
December 21, 2018
Episode 248: No Such Thing As The Shatner Bunny
Live from Union Chapel, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss the world's oldest krill, the £20 million bed, and the Christmas decorations that go up in September.
More info...
49 min
December 14, 2018
Episode 247: No Such Thing As Footprints On The Sea
Anna, James, Andy and Ed discuss whistling oysters, Captain Cook's goat, and King Lear's happy ending.
More info...
46 min
December 7, 2018
Episode 246: No Such Thing As The Worm Revolution
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss the Royal Anagrammist, the man from M.O.U.L.D, and Darwin's publisher's not-so-helpful notes.
More info...
52 min
November 30, 2018
Episode 245: No Such Thing As The Very Sexy Caterpillar
Live from Brighton, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss the police force made up of criminals, why mice walk so loudly, and the world's first crossword.
More info...
41 min
November 23, 2018
Episode 244: No Such Thing As A Fishman
Dan, James, Anna, Andy and special guest Stephen Fry discuss frogs with regional accents, Canada's official tagline, and streaking in museums.
More info...
76 min
November 16, 2018
Episode 243: No Such Thing As Jean-Paul Sartre's Crabs
Live from the Union Chapel in London, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss snail backpacks, the band from space, and Alexander Graham Bell's talking dog.
More info...
55 min
November 9, 2018
Episode 242: No Such Thing As The Ancient Monty Python Dynasty
Live from York, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss scaring moths out of the sky, Sir Walter Raleigh's improv act, and why a robot would say 'poop'.
More info...
55 min
November 1, 2018
Episode 241: No Such Thing As Tom Cruise In A Manger
Live from Nottingham, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss the Nativity with celebrities, giraffes with asthma, and chucking hospital patients into a bush.
More info...
51 min
October 26, 2018
Episode 240: No Such Thing As An Easy Tweet
Dan, James, Anna, Andy and special guest Maxïmo Park frontman Paul Smith discuss banned bananas, earthquake-sensing belts, and the Great Lost Massive Toilet Of London.
More info...
57 min
October 19, 2018
Episode 239: No Such Thing As The Queen Maaaaaaary
Dan, Anna, Andy and Alex discuss why wombats have the best bums, how to build an extension on a cruise liner and Who Do You Think You Are?'s rejected celebrities.
More info...
38 min
October 12, 2018
Episode 238: No Such Thing As A Low Sofa
Dan, Andy, Anna and Anne discuss the world's worst poetry recital, where all the world's hazelnuts go, and the first ever advert on Channel 5.
More info...
41 min
October 5, 2018
Episode 237: No Such Thing As A Closed-Minded Tortoise
Dan, James, Andy and Anna discuss facial recognition for chickens, the whales older than Moby Dick, and the European Space Agency's rockin' sound system.
More info...
45 min
September 28, 2018
Episode 236: No Such Thing As A Brie Sculpture
Anna, James, Andy and special guest Alex Edelman discuss illegal canoe practices, the funniest poo joke in history and Henry VIII's favourite pudding.
More info...
48 min
September 21, 2018
Episode 235: No Such Thing As Trousers For Spiders
Dan, James, Anna and Alex discuss how to make spiders less scary, the oldest message in a bottle, and unusual features of the Mastermind chair.
More info...
45 min
September 14, 2018
Episode 234: No Such Thing As The Lemur Police
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss earwax grubs, armadillo sex and selfies with sunflowers.
More info...
51 min
September 7, 2018
Episode 233: No Such Thing As A Sexy Question Mark
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss Beefeaters' birthdays, Roman ice and metal umlauts.
More info...
55 min
August 31, 2018
Episode 232: No Such Thing As A Seven Foot Bond
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss spiders with eyeliner, biblical teeth gnashing, and the sumo wrestler with silicone in his scalp.
More info...
40 min
August 24, 2018
Episode 231: No Such Thing As A 24-Minute Podcast
Dan, James, Anna and Alex discuss the first ever stripper to jump out of a cake, the Queen of Sweden's business cards, and why holding your breath underwater is cheating.
More info...
27 min
August 17, 2018
Episode 230: No Such Thing As Tinder For Sloths
Live from the Wilderness Festival, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss how the Macarena could save your life, the secret penis code in the Bayeux Tapestry, and the one thing more painful than childbirth (for sloths).
More info...
39 min
August 10, 2018
Episode 229: No Such Thing As The Great Modesto
Dan, James, Andy and Alex discuss gold in the sewers, Robert Burn's homemade ink, and why Sweden's highest point isn't any more.
More info...
42 min
August 3, 2018
Episode 228: No Such Thing As Seatbelts On Your Sofa
Not live and not from Bristol, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss indoor hot air balloon shows, McBaseball and what you'll find inside a giraffe's armpit.
More info...
34 min
July 27, 2018
Episode 227: No Such Thing As A More Ambitious Crossover Event In History
Live (partly at least) from the Wellington Opera House, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss how to birth a lamb, the most niche Netflix categories, and Elton John's travel arrangements.
More info...
52 min
July 20, 2018
Episode 226: No Such Thing As A Turtle Painting The Ceiling
Live from Auckland, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss painting pants on portraits, why Moscow's politicians don't kiss each other, and how often men really think about sex.
More info...
49 min
July 13, 2018
Episode 225: No Such Thing As An Interesting Riddle
Live from the Sydney Opera House, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss BBC stock orgies, being buried with a chicken and why you might cycle the Olympic marathon.
More info...
51 min
July 6, 2018
Episode 224: No Such Thing As Mixed-Species Martial Arts
Live from Brisbane, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss spider wrestling, policemen dressed as statues, and Ozzy Osbourne's no-so-last tour.
More info...
47 min
June 29, 2018
Episode 223: No Such Thing As A Worthless Doorstop
Live from Melbourne, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss death by meteorite, the Manhatt-ant and the downhill history of the slinky.
More info...
43 min
June 22, 2018
Episode 222: No Such Thing As A Warmongering Pigeon
Live from Melbourne, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss superloud fish sex, taxiing to a war zone and why these facts probably aren't true.
More info...
44 min
June 14, 2018
Episode 221: No Such Thing As A Fully Carpeted Country
Dan, James, Anna, Andy and special guest Alan Davies discuss the street value of football sticker albums, anti-diving shin pads and instructional chat-up pamphlets for Argentinian footballers.
More info...
36 min
June 8, 2018
Episode 220: No Such Thing As A Million Dots
Anna, James, Andy and other James discuss bouliganism, flying on Titan, and tiny, tiny wasps.Episode 220 - No Such Thing As A Million Dots
More info...
47 min
June 1, 2018
Episode 219: No Such Thing As Jeremiah Wingdings
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss cosmetic surgery for Fish, how to get the edge in the Tour de France, and competitive typesetting.
More info...
46 min
May 25, 2018
Episode 218: No Such Thing As Tennis On The Moon
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss cavemen living on the moon, Victorian reaction times, and the mystery of The Mystery Of Edwin Drood.
More info...
58 min
May 18, 2018
Episode 217: No Such Thing As A Trapezium-Shaped Hankie
Live from Liverpool, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss bob.com, how to eat an avocado, and what the Ancient Greeks used for toilet paper.
More info...
40 min
May 11, 2018
Episode 216: No Such Thing As A Lobster War
Live from Perth, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss the most annoying man in history, the regretful inventor of the Australian labradoodle, and how lobsters nearly started a war.
More info...
39 min
May 4, 2018
Episode 215: No Such Thing As A Chihuahua Dog Sled Team
Live from Dublin, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss the monumental conception of Victor Hugo, when North Korea is the safest place to be, and why you should bring 600 pairs of shoes to a dog sled race.
More info...
48 min
April 27, 2018
Episode 214: No Such Thing As A Criminal In A Fabulous Hat
Dan, James, Andy and special guest Original Elf Molly Oldfield discuss blue whale birthing, ceramic pillows and how to cast for a police line-up.
More info...
38 min
April 20, 2018
Episode 213: No Such Thing As Panda Gladiators
Live from Reading, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss the world's first waterskier, Harvard for pandas, and the the record-holding mat holder called Matt Hand.
More info...
46 min
April 13, 2018
Episode 212: No Such Thing As A Hipster Pharaoh
Live from Belfast, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss smuggling pasta, the Queen's tri-annual review and the designer chickens of Silicon Valley.
More info...
46 min
April 6, 2018
Episode 211: No Such Thing As A Photograph Of A River
Live from Edinburgh, Dan, James Anna and Andy discuss dinner party etiquette for 5-year-olds, ugly American shoes and divorcées falling down the stairs.
More info...
50 min
March 30, 2018
Episode 210: No Such Thing As A Sheep's Bedside Table
Live from Leeds, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss sheep in a lift, the cocktail-endorsing pope, and why the RAF have banned Tunnocks Teacakes.
More info...
40 min
March 23, 2018
Episode 209: No Such Thing As A Sexy Black Hole
Live from Glasgow, Dan, James Anna and Andy discuss denim arson, and why 1p on the ground isn't worth anything.
More info...
44 min
March 23, 2018
Episode 208: No Such Thing As A Female Egg Thief
Live from Oxford, Dan, James Anna and Andy discuss the man with an egg stuck in his mouth, Lost Wife posters and Edward VII's driving-drink.
More info...
39 min
March 9, 2018
Episode 207: No Such Thing As Harry Potter And The Great Overreaction
Live from Brighton, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss suspended babies, computer-generated sweet nothings, and the man who waters his house every day.
More info...
41 min
March 2, 2018
Episode 206: No Such Thing As A Pig In Court
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss Victorian fern mania, why stripes are a fashion crime and ice golf championships.
More info...
44 min
February 23, 2018
Episode 205: No Such Thing As The Number Six
Andy, James, Anna and Alex discuss ski lift thefts, the world's largest wine cellar and what would happen if all the bacteria disappeared in the world.
More info...
52 min
February 16, 2018
Episode 204: No Such Thing As A Mean Butterfly
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss the Great Maple Syrup Robbery, a musical Russian invasion and the great Greek god Doris.
More info...
44 min
February 9, 2018
Episode 203: No Such Thing As A Muscular Butterfly
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss the secret Matrix sushi recipes, why our skin doesn't leak and butterfly sperm trickery.
More info...
42 min
February 2, 2018
Episode 202: No Such Thing As A Deadly Birthday Cake
Live from Coventry, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss trousers for horses, swimming the Atlantic, and why the inventor of basketball was so bad at teaching it.
More info...
46 min
January 26, 2018
Episode 201: No Such Thing As Lobsters At The Lobster Festival
Live from Dunstable, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss King Ferdinand's Orient Express phobia, the giant magnet roaming Glastonbury and Foyle's unorthodox method of wartime shop defence.
More info...
55 min
January 19, 2018
Episode 200: No Such Thing As A Jigsaw For The Queen
Live from Birmingham, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss the squatting Queen impersonator, misplace nuclear launch codes, and the statue in Belgium commemorating Peter the Great's sick.
More info...
54 min
January 12, 2018
Episode 199: No Such Thing As An Heroic Fire-Goat
Live from Leicester, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss meerkats' inside-out bottoms, California's imprisoned firefighters, and the risk of finding a golf ball in your crisps.
More info...
41 min
January 6, 2018
Episode 198: No Such Thing As Cleopatra Movie Trivia
Live from Up The Creek In Greenwich, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss the dead author under the bed, the first ever sports bra, and Poopy the Ambassador.
More info...
52 min
December 29, 2017
No Such Thing As Wasted Material 2017
All the outtakes and deleted bits from Fish 2017. Happy In-between-Christmas-and-New-Year-bit!
More info...
81 min
December 25, 2017
Merry Fishmas!
A special Christmas Day extract from the audiobook version of The Book Of The Year.
More info...
39 min
December 22, 2017
197: Episode 197: No Such Thing As Eurovision For Christmas Trees
A special Christmas episode with Dan, James, Anna and Andy, live from Up The Creek in Greenwich
More info...
40 min
December 15, 2017
196: Episode 196: No Such Thing As Faking The Magic Dream
Live from Wimbledon, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss what makes flamingos pink, Cape Canaveral's dialling code, and the secret dream that lets you keep bees in the mountains.
More info...
37 min
December 8, 2017
195: Episode 195: No Such Thing As A Hummingbird With A Greggs Steak Bake
Live from Manchester, Dan, James, Anna And Andy discuss how much Coke a human-sized hummingbird would drink, the world's first rollercoaster, and American grocery bag-packing competitions.
More info...
38 min
December 1, 2017
194: Episode 194: No Such Thing As An Orange Crocodile
Live from Nottingham, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss green robins, Lenin’s unexpected accent and the Nottingham cheese riots.
More info...
38 min
November 25, 2017
193: Episode 193: No Such Thing As Death By Conga
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss testifying in court through a window, the ant nests made of ants, and book the size of postage stamps.
More info...
47 min
November 17, 2017
192: Episode 192: No Such Thing As A Restaurant Menu For Hats
Live from Cardiff, Dan, James Anna and Andy discuss listening to the radio with your hat on, the useless mating call of the pumpkin toadlet, and salmon-shaped mountains.
More info...
44 min
November 10, 2017
191: Episode 191: No Such Thing As A Cannibal Squirrel
Live from Bath, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss Calvin Coolidge's robotic horse, the inventor of email, and the language it's easiest to speak while drunk.
More info...
48 min
November 3, 2017
190: Episode 190: No Such Thing As A Magic Oven For Chimps
Live from Newcastle, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss British boomerangs, primate rock-paper-scissors, and why the Catalans are so anti-cat.
More info...
39 min
November 1, 2017
189: Episode 189: No Such Thing As A Meringue-Utan
Live from the Cheltenham Literature Festival, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss the Queen's nickname, the man beaten in a marathon by a tumble dryer, and the anus that is Making America Great Again.
More info...
35 min
October 27, 2017
188: Episode 188: No Such Thing As A Mouth-Propelled Grenade Launcher
Live from Newcastle, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss Mo Farah's only Guinness World Record, what's inside a Kit Kat, and how hamsters arrived in the UK.
More info...
38 min
October 20, 2017
187: Episode 187: No Such Thing As An Ant On Its Gap Year
Andy, James, Anna and Alex discuss how to get ants drunk, the stolen cities in China, and The Sound Of Julie Andrews Being Blown Over By A Helicopter.
More info...
42 min
October 13, 2017
186: Episode 186: No Such Thing As Russian Hacking in the Cockroach Election
Anna, James, Andy and Alice discuss portable bridges, sneeze-based votes, and why you can't detect magnets with your mind.
More info...
32 min
October 6, 2017
Episode 185: No Such Thing As Scottish Snow
Andy, Anna, James and special guest Cariad Lloyd discuss Unity Mitford's BFFs, how planes (don't) cure deafness, and why you shouldn't eat Scottish show.
More info...
49 min
September 29, 2017
Episode 184: No Such Thing As Dinosaur Diaries
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss snakes that eat snakes, mathematical street performers, and the celebrity most likely to give you a virus.
More info...
42 min
September 22, 2017
Episode 183: No Such Thing As A Bouncy Theatre
Dan, James, Andy and Alex discuss how to drive a submarine, Gainsborough's 6-foot-long paintbrushes, and where 1% of all the world's wood goes.
More info...
33 min
September 15, 2017
Episode 182: No Such Thing As An Auction For Auction School
Dan, Anna, Andy and special guest Jason Hazeley discuss the British Lawnmover Museum, questionnaires for narcissists, how Christie's auctioneers get over their nerves.
More info...
33 min
September 8, 2017
Episode 181: No Such Thing As A Shark Vending Machine
Dan, Anna, Andy and Alex discuss Spielberg's Great White Turd, maverick train carriages and how bird always know when they're in Aberdeen.
More info...
36 min
September 1, 2017
Episode 180: No Such Thing As Playing Snake On A Plane
Dan, James, Anna and Anne discuss Hitler's Beatles cameo, how lobsters fly, and the most surprising place to find John Goodman.
More info...
33 min
August 25, 2017
Episode 179: No Such Thing As Stare-Boxing
Dan, James, Anna and Alex discuss mail-order portraits, the first ever Encyclopaedia Britannica, and the country with only five star hotels.
More info...
33 min
August 18, 2017
Episode 178: No Such Thing As A Cup Full Of Nessie
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss your amazing expanding liver, the land of ex-presidents, and scientists disguised as mooses...or is that meese?
More info...
44 min
August 11, 2017
Episode 177: No Such Thing As A Barking Spy
Live from the Wilderness Festival, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss the invention of crowd barriers, bombs that lecture their victims, and Volkswagen's biggest product [hint: it's not cars].
More info...
43 min
August 4, 2017
Episode 176: No Such Thing As A Communist Caterpillar
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss vomiting caterpillars, quarantined chocolate, and Russian news that's literally stored in the cloud.
More info...
40 min
July 28, 2017
Episode 175: No Such Thing As A Rice Krispie With Feelings
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss expert plastic sushi artists, the world's first bendy straws, and how fake dog noses help detect bombs.
More info...
46 min
July 21, 2017
Episode 174: No Such Thing As A Manta Ray
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss competitive tongue injuring, the popemobile for hire and Bogotan traffic mimes.
More info...
45 min
July 14, 2017
Episode 173: No Such Thing As Symphony For Sizzurp In D Minor
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss weather-forecasting rainbows, Mexico's artistic tax policy and the mandatory Big Book of Tennis Rules.
More info...
44 min
July 7, 2017
Episode 172: No Such Thing As A Cat-a-Cops Cartoon
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss the police force for dead people, Indonesia's KFC CDs and Chinese mistress-dispellers.
More info...
53 min
June 30, 2017
Episode 171: No Such Thing As A Half-Ape Vampire
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss the man behind human chess, Agatha Christie's untranslatable book and deceitful camemberts.
More info...
42 min
June 23, 2017
Episode 170: No Such Thing As A Love Potion For A Vole
Anna, James, Andy and Alex discuss stinking ice, smart seeds and the world's greatest fly swatters.
More info...
44 min
June 16, 2017
Episode 169: No Such Thing As Constantly Awake Beauty
Anna, James, Andy and Alex discuss synchronised blinking, the ants the size of foxes, and nocturnal apple-counting robots.
More info...
41 min
June 9, 2017
Episode 168: No Such Thing As Lord Cauldronhead
In a special episode covering the 2017 general election, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss policies regarding yetis, the underwater constituency, and (of course) the election in Kenya.
More info...
41 min
June 2, 2017
Episode 167: No Such Thing As Milk From A Yak
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss the growing Tibetan butter sculpting crisis, how to email a tree, and what to do with the world's hottest chilli (hint: don't eat it).
More info...
44 min
May 26, 2017
Episode 166: No Such Thing As A Courgette In Your Ear
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss chicken egg orientation, drawing on your ear drums, and the Georgian garden of celebrity trees.
More info...
46 min
May 19, 2017
Episode 165: No Such Thing As A Spider The Size Of A Sheep
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss the Wright brothers’ first flight, China’s latest speed limits, and why poo on a table may be further away than it appears.
More info...
33 min
May 11, 2017
Episode 164: No Such Thing As A Poo Powered Plane
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss second-hand spacesuits, Jeremy Corbyn's luxuriant beard, and North Korea's flying taxi service.
More info...
47 min
May 5, 2017
Episode 163: No Such Thing As Too Fast For A Fish
Dan, James, Anna, Andy and special guest John Hodgman discuss draining the sea, why the Titanic really sunk, and how most of Britain isn't really in Britain.
More info...
53 min
April 28, 2017
Episode 162: No Such Thing As Catastrophic Shoelaces
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss the problem with HMS Victory, the science behind shoelaces and the age-old question of hobnob production.
More info...
49 min
April 21, 2017
Episode 161: No Such Thing As A Magic Donkey
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss the first ever lie detector, a robotic Cleopatra and the world's largest exporter of false teeth.
More info...
40 min
April 13, 2017
Episode 160: No Such Thing As A Sausage Jacuzzi
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss snail spas, the world's largest porch swings, and the least practical way to wash clothes.
More info...
46 min
April 7, 2017
Episode 159: No Such Thing As An Edible Jockey
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss falcon sex caps, a 73-year-old superhuman swimmer, and the morning routine of a seahorse.
More info...
40 min
March 31, 2017
Episode 158: No Such Thing As A Weasel's Fridge
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss the intricacies of Indian washing machines, ghost-hunting in GCHQ and why ferret racing is such a snooze-fest.
More info...
46 min
March 24, 2017
Episode 157:No Such Thing As High-Fiving The Beatles
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss the first ever high-five, an iceberg storage facility in Antarctica and how to put make-up on in space.
More info...
43 min
March 17, 2017
Episode 156: No Such Thing As A Limited Edition
Dan, Anna, Andy and special guest Dr Erica McAlister discuss sperm whale-sized sperm, real-life Home Alone security measures, and why you've never really heard Churchill's famous speeches.
More info...
40 min
March 10, 2017
Episode 155: No Such Thing As Hurricane Schmurricane
Live from Up The Creek in Greenwich to celebrate the third birthday of the podcast, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss the weirdest storm name suggestions, President Johnson's johnson shower and the Old People Forecast
More info...
39 min
March 3, 2017
Episode 154: No Such Thing As A Submarine Shepherd
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss the UK's noisiest warships, how glow-worms go fishing and what happened to the world's first cannabis smokers.
More info...
43 min
February 24, 2017
Episode 153: No Such Thing As Mulled Wine At The Dawn Of Time
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss aphrodisiac sorbet, non-flammable newspapers and the world's Scilliest soccer teams.
More info...
40 min
February 17, 2017
Episode 152: No Such Thing As A Sleepover With Lions
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss self-consuming breasts, eating lions' leftovers, and why we're thirty seconds closer to the end of the world.
More info...
44 min
February 10, 2017
Episode 151: No Such Thing As A Komodo Dragon Restaurant
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss garlic-flavoured chocolate bars, Komodo dragon puberty and and why you don't want to french kiss a frog.
More info...
38 min
February 3, 2017
Episode 150: No Such Thing As A Helium Filled Pufferfish
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss the bits of Earth on the Moon, venom-swiping slugs, and when Mount Rushmore will finally be finished.
More info...
39 min
January 27, 2017
Episode 149: No Such Thing As The Train King Of Europe
Anna, James, Andy and Anne discuss boot camp for trains, celebrity camels, and why Shell send sea shells back to the sea shore.
More info...
36 min
January 20, 2017
Episode 148: No Such Thing As A Plummeting Moose
Andy, James, Anna and Alex discuss helicopter dung attacks, Sesame Street's Donald Trump and the best way to cover the smell of urine.
More info...
30 min
January 13, 2017
Episode 147: No Such Thing As Burrito Party Boy
Anna, James, Andy and Alex discuss the unluckiest politician in the world, the elephant on the River Thames, and the best way of getting invited to Buckingham Palace.
More info...
39 min
January 6, 2017
Episode 146: No Such Thing As A Queen Orca
Dan, James, Andy and special guest Sara Pascoe discuss sympathetic pregnancy, the world's most famous umbrellas and the surprisingly romantic life of coral.
More info...
50 min
December 30, 2016
No Such Thing As A Fish - Extra Bits
A compilation episodes of bits there weren't time for in the 2016 episodes of No Such Thing As A Fish. Happy New Year!
More info...
34 min
December 23, 2016
Episode 145: No Such Thing as E.T. Part Three
A Christmas compilation episode in which Dan, James, Anna and Andy take facts from the audiences of Fish's spin-off topical news show No Such Thing As The News.
More info...
32 min
December 16, 2016
Episode 144: No Such Thing As Garlic Superman
Dan, James, Andy and Alex discuss historical ham sandwiches, edible passwords and why Jupiter is shrinking.
More info...
36 min
December 9, 2016
Episode 143: No Such Thing As Chariots in Space
Dan, James, Anna and Alex discuss placebo pharmacies, Britain's 17th century space program, and the robot that cheats at Rock, Paper, Scissors.
More info...
33 min
December 2, 2016
Episode 142 : No Such Thing As Edward Binbag-Hands
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss aeroplane-chasing bumblebees, spiky penises, and the weighing scales in the Oval Office.
More info...
35 min
November 25, 2016
Episode 141: No Such Thing As Ancient Roman Pictionary
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss the wisdom of Wisden, life in an elephant's footprint and why to strive for that 'classic poo look'.
More info...
44 min
November 18, 2016
Episode 140: No Such Thing As Books For Pirate-Children
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss ancient greek bathtubs, badgers on submarines and the logistics of Santa's Naughty and Nice List.
More info...
44 min
November 12, 2016
Episode 139: No Such Thing As A Lobster Nappy
Live from the London Podcast Festival, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss Evel Knievel's jail time, the complete history of turtle soup, and a telescope too big to use.
More info...
38 min
November 4, 2016
Episode 138: No Such Thing As Fluff Island
Andy, Anna, Alex and special guest Ed Brooke-Hitching discuss left-handed snails, non-existent islands and the White House press-pit-swimming-pool.
More info...
39 min
October 28, 2016
Episode 137: No Such Thing As Churchill's Secret Parrot
Andy, Anna, James and Anne discuss Coca Cola copycat companies, places where compasses don't work and the dangers of farting on a plane.
More info...
41 min
October 21, 2016
Episode 136: No Such Thing As A Wolf Diving For Clams
Anna, Andy, Piers Fletcher and Justin Pollard discuss Samuel Pepys's porn stash, boiling swimming pools and a sixty-year-long life hack to owning beachfront property.
More info...
39 min
October 14, 2016
Episode 135: No Such Thing As Queen Of Clean, The Sausage Machine
Dan, Anna, Andy and Alex discuss animal babysitters, supermarket laser tag, and the best party in the history of the world.
More info...
44 min
October 7, 2016
Episode 134: No Such Thing As Sauce For The King Of Sweden
Live from Up The Creek in Greenwich, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss virtual grouse shooting, stolen Van Gogh paintings and what happens after you win a Nobel Prize.
More info...
37 min
September 30, 2016
Episode 133: No Such Thing As Paranoid Ants
Live from Up The Creek in Greenwich, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss ants in frogs, upside-down perception, and the best way to watch a presidential debate.
More info...
38 min
September 23, 2016
Episode 132: No Such Thing As A Creepy Weather Forecaster
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss computer-playing cars, fratricidal kookaburras and what paper was first used for.
More info...
47 min
September 16, 2016
Episode 131: No Such Thing As Walking The Life Jacket
Dan, James, Anna and Alex discuss duct tape for ducks, duck tape for ducts, Duck duct tape and ducks in ducts. And ducts.
More info...
43 min
September 9, 2016
Episode 130: No Such Thing As Train Jam
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss toe wrestling championships, the ghost of Arthur Conan Doyle, and trains armed with lasers.
More info...
40 min
September 2, 2016
Episode 129: No Such Thing As Jack The Stripper
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss hummingbird capes, spacesuits for ants, and the origin of the ballpoint pen.
More info...
37 min
August 26, 2016
Episode 128: No Such Thing As A Million Dollar Bill
Dan, James, Anna and Alex discuss glow-in-the-dark fungi, presidential putters and reasons for spying your neighbours.
More info...
37 min
August 19, 2016
Episode 127: No Such Thing As 'Carry On Colliding'
Dan, James, Anna and Alex discuss man-made earthquakes, the world's least favourite font, and how this episode will end up on the moon.
More info...
33 min
August 12, 2016
Episode 126: No Such Thing As A Boy Called Blclintn
Dan, James, Anna and Anne discuss literal sexual magnetism, Olympic races for old ladies, and all the children named after Tony Blair.
More info...
36 min
August 5, 2016
Episode 125: No Such Thing As An Upside-Down Grand Prix
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss forte-pianos, spring-loaded hairstyles, and the not-so-gentle lemur.
More info...
33 min
July 29, 2016
Episode 124: No Such Thing As A Screaming Scream
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss railroad glow worms, Marx & Spencer, and kangaroos on trampolines.
More info...
34 min
July 22, 2016
Episode 123: No Such Thing As A Molten Lava Football Pitch
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss synchronised heartbeats, how to barbecue with lava, and the people who only read Playboy for the articles.
More info...
36 min
July 15, 2016
Episode 122: No Such Thing As A Sticky Shell Spoon
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss holey spoons, the speed of snow and how to get more milk from a cow.
More info...
37 min
July 8, 2016
Episode 121: No Such Thing As The Sword In The Carbon Fibre
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss wood-sucking catfish, wizard prison, and Ancient Egyptian butchers.
More info...
35 min
July 1, 2016
Episode 120: No Such Thing As HMS Kevin
Live from the Udderbelly Festival, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss houses made for burgling, flimsy warships and graffiti in the sky.
More info...
36 min
June 24, 2016
Episode 119: No Such Thing As 4D Surgery
Dan, Anna, Andy and Steve Colgan discuss cage-reading, pigeons versus dinosaurs, and the schoolgirl spy from Devon.
More info...
32 min
June 16, 2016
Episode 118: No Such Thing As Dinner On A Spider
This week Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss wristwatch thermometers, cheat codes for lifts, and glow-in-the-dark vomit.
More info...
42 min
June 9, 2016
Episode 117: No Such Thing As Dr No Teeth
Dan, James, Anna, Andy and special guest Tim Minchin discuss performing racoons, blue hailstones, and the giant that provides constipation relief.
More info...
41 min
June 2, 2016
Episode 116: No Such Thing As Notting Mountain
Dan, James, Anna and Alex discuss prehistoric butterflies, secret power stations, and Buddhist robots.
More info...
45 min
May 26, 2016
Episode 115: No Such Thing As A Hummingbird Pilot
Anna, James, Andy and Anne discuss alarm clocks in space, ripped-off national anthems and crows holding grudges.
More info...
41 min
May 19, 2016
Episode 114: No Such Thing As A Tantrump
Live from Up The Creek in Greenwich, and filmed as a pilot episode for QI's new BBC TV series No Such Thing As The News, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss elephant polo, robots replacing Royals, and everything that hasn't been discovered yet.
More info...
33 min
May 13, 2016
Episode 113: No Such Thing As A Flycycle
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss underwater tailors, the overlord of all emojis, and the alphabet of the future.
More info...
45 min
May 6, 2016
Episode 112: No Such Thing As A Lego Aircraft Carrier
Live from Edinburgh, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss jet plane catapults, the Hemline Index, and the world’s most expensive toilet paper.
More info...
36 min
April 29, 2016
Episode 111: No Such Thing As Snappedy Chat
Live from the Up The Creek Comedy Club, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss personalised number plates, political sexting and the Queen's weirdest birthday presents.
More info...
39 min
April 22, 2016
Episode 110: No Such Thing As A Dull Post Box
Dan, James, Anna, Andy and special guest Sara Pascoe discuss underwater postboxes, easily distracted hijackers and the Disney film all about menstruation.
More info...
36 min
April 15, 2016
Episode 109: No Such Thing As A Speared Shrimp
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss Belgian horseback fishing, flattop mountains and the world's first newspaper.
More info...
35 min
April 8, 2016
Episode 108: No Such Thing As Samurai Olaf
Live from Glasgow, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss killer shrimps, poo-based space food, and handsome Japanese tear-wipers for hire.
More info...
40 min
April 1, 2016
Episode 107: No Such Thing As Gorillas On The Beach
Live from Glasgow, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss spagnostic pastafarians, mystery pool pooers and the world's first speech bubble.
More info...
39 min
March 25, 2016
Episode 106: No Such Thing As A Six-Tier Japanese Human Pyramid
Live from Bristol, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss colour-changing animals, caffeinated mushrooms and fashionable hay fever.
More info...
35 min
March 18, 2016
Episode 105: No Such Thing As Pancakes For Perverts
Live from Newport, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss tweeting chickens, litigious hyenas and peer-reviewed romantic comedies.
More info...
33 min
November 19, 2015
No Such Thing As A Fish: The One Show Special
In this bonus episode recorded in the BBC's The One Show studios, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss huge holes, criminal kestrels and how to park a van on Pluto.
More info...
29 min
June 26, 2014
NSTAAF International Factball: South Korea v Ghana
South Korea v Ghana: The QI Elves in association with www.visitengland.com bring you the fifteenth and final episode of this No Such Thing As A Fish Factball special - the only football podcast that has absolutely nothing to do with football. Today Dan Schreiber (@schreiberland), Anna Ptaszynski (@qikipedia), James Harkin (@eggshaped) and Alex Bell (@alexbell_) pit South Korea against Ghana to find out which is the most Quite Interesting country.
More info...
18 min
June 25, 2014
NSTAAF International Factball: Iran v Argentina v Ecuador
Iran v Argentina v Ecuador: The QI Elves in association with www.visitengland.com bring you the fourteenth episode of International Factball - the only football podcast that has absolutely nothing to do with football. Today in this never-before-tried three-way special, Dan Schreiber (@schreiberland), Anna Ptaszynski (@qikipedia), James Harkin (@eggshaped) and Freddy Soames (@fsoames), pit Iran against Argentina against Ecuador to find out which is the most Quite Interesting country.
More info...
21 min
June 24, 2014
NSTAAF International Factball: Greece v Japan
Greece v Japan: The QI Elves in association with www.visitengland.com bring you the thirteenth episode of this No Such Thing As A Fish Factball special - the only football podcast that has absolutely nothing to do with football. Today Anna Ptaszynski (@qikipedia), James Harkin (@eggshaped), John Mitchinson (@johnmitchinson) and Molly Oldfield (@mollyoldfield) pit Greece against Japan to find out which is the most Quite Interesting country.
More info...
16 min
June 23, 2014
NSTAAF International Factball: Australia v Mexico
Australia v Mexico: The QI Elves in association with www.visitengland.com bring you the twelfth episode of this No Such Thing As A Fish Factball special - the only football podcast that has absolutely nothing to do with football. Today Dan Schreiber (@schreiberland), James Harkin (@eggshaped), Alex Bell (@alexbell_) and Molly Oldfield (@mollyoldfield) pit Australia against Mexico to find out which is the most Quite Interesting country.
More info...
14 min
June 22, 2014
NSTAAF International Factball: USA v Russia
USA v Russia: The QI Elves in association with www.visitengland.com bring you the eleventh episode of this No Such Thing As A Fish Factball special - the only football podcast that has absolutely nothing to do with football. Today Andrew Hunter Murray (@andrewhunterm), James Harkin (@eggshaped), Alex Edelman (@alex_edelman) and Anna Ptaszynski (@qikipedia) pit Italy against Switzerland to find out which is the most Quite Interesting country.
More info...
19 min
June 21, 2014
NSTAAF International Factball: Bosnia v Nigeria
Bosnia v Nigeria: The QI Elves in association with www.visitengland.com bring you the tenth episode of this No Such Thing As A Fish Factball special - the only football podcast that has absolutely nothing to do with football. Today Dan Schreiber (@schreiberland), James Harkin (@eggshaped), Andrew Hunter Murray (@andrewhunterm) and Anna Ptaszynski (@qikipedia) pit Bosnia against Nigeria to find out which is the most Quite Interesting country.
More info...
15 min
June 20, 2014
NSTAAF International Factball: Italy v Switzerland
Italy v Switzerland: The QI Elves in association with www.visitengland.com bring you the ninth episode of this No Such Thing As A Fish Factball special - the only football podcast that has absolutely nothing to do with football. Today Andrew Hunter Murray (@andrewhunterm), James Harkin (@eggshaped), Anne Miller (@miller_anne) and Anna Ptaszynski (@qikipedia) pit Italy against Switzerland to find out which is the most Quite Interesting country.
More info...
15 min
June 19, 2014
NSTAAF International Factball: Colombia v Ivory Coast
Colombia v Ivory Coast: The QI Elves in association with www.visitengland.com bring you the eighth episode of this No Such Thing As A Fish Factball special - the only football podcast that has absolutely nothing to do with football. Today Dan Schreiber (@schreiberland), James Harkin (@eggshaped), Andrew Hunter Murray (@andrewhunterm) and Anna Ptaszynski (@qikipedia) pit Colombia against the Ivory Coast to find out which is the most Quite Interesting country.
More info...
13 min
June 18, 2014
NSTAAF International Factball: Cameroon vs Chile
Cameroon v Chile: The QI Elves in association with www.visitengland.com bring you the seventh episode of this No Such Thing As A Fish Factball special - the only football podcast that has absolutely nothing to do with football. Today Dan Schreiber (@schreiberland), James Harkin (@eggshaped), Jack Burke (@jacksburke) and Anna Ptaszynski (@qikipedia) pit Cameroon against Chile to find out which is the most Quite Interesting country.
More info...
15 min
June 16, 2014
NSTAAF International Factball: Belgium v Algeria
Belgium v Algeria: The QI Elves in association with www.visitengland.com bring you the sixth episode of this No Such Thing As A Fish Factball special - the only football podcast that has absolutely nothing to do with football. Today Dan Schreiber (@schreiberland), James Harkin (@eggshaped), Andrew Hunter Murray (@andrewhunterm) and Anna Ptaszynski (@qikipedia) pit Belgium against Algeria to find out which is the most Quite Interesting country.
More info...
15 min
June 15, 2014
NSTAAF International Factball: Germany v Portugal
Germany v Portugal: The QI Elves in association with www.visitengland.com bring you the fifth episode of this No Such Thing As A Fish Factball special - the only football podcast that has absolutely nothing to do with football. Today Dan Schreiber (@schreiberland), James Harkin (@eggshaped), Andrew Hunter Murray (@andrewhunterm) and Anna Ptaszynski (@qikipedia) pit Germany against Portugal to find out which is the most Quite Interesting country.
More info...
15 min
June 15, 2014
NSTAAF International Factball: France v Honduras
France v Honduras: The QI Elves in association with www.visitengland.com bring you the fourth episode of this No Such Thing As A Fish Factball special - the only football podcast that has absolutely nothing to do with football. Today Dan Schreiber (@schreiberland), James Harkin (@eggshaped), Andrew Hunter Murray (@andrewhunterm) and Anna Ptaszynski (@qikipedia) pit France against Honduras to find out which is the most Quite Interesting country.
More info...
14 min
June 14, 2014
NSTAAF International Factball: Uruguay v Costa Rica
Uruguay v Costa Rica: The QI Elves in association with www.visitengland.com bring you the third episode of this No Such Thing As A Fish Factball special - the only football podcast that has absolutely nothing to do with football. Today Dan Schreiber (@schreiberland), James Harkin (@eggshaped), Andrew Hunter Murray (@andrewhunterm) and Anna Ptaszynski (@qikipedia) pit Uruguay against Costa Rica to find out which is the most Quite Interesting country.
More info...
14 min
June 13, 2014
NSTAAF International Factball: Spain v Netherlands
Spain v Netherlands: The QI Elves in association with www.visitengland.com bring you the second episode of this No Such Thing As A Fish Factball special - the only football podcast that has absolutely nothing to do with football. Today Dan Schreiber (@schreiberland), James Harkin (@eggshaped), Andrew Hunter Murray (@andrewhunterm) and Anna Ptaszynski (@qikipedia) pit Spain against the Netherlands to find out which is the most Quite Interesting country.
More info...
13 min
June 12, 2014
NSTAAF International Factball: Brazil v Croatia
Brazil v Croatia: The QI Elves in association with www.visitengland.com bring you the first episode of this No Such Thing As A Fish Factball special - the only football podcast that has absolutely nothing to do with football. Today Dan Schreiber (@schreiberland), James Harkin (@eggshaped), Andrew Hunter Murray (@andrewhunterm) and Anna Ptaszynski (@qikipedia) pit Brazil against Croatia to find out which is the most Quite Interesting country.
More info...
14 min
March 14, 2014
Where Are Episodes 2 - 52?
Anna explains why episodes 2 to 52 of No Such Thing As A Fish are no longer available to listen for free on Soundcloud. For more visit nosuchthingasafish.com
More info...
1 min
March 8, 2014
Episode 1: No Such Thing As A Pilot Fish
A new podcast from the writers of QI, who discuss the best facts they've found that week. The pilot episode features Dan Schreiber (@schreiberland), James Harkin (@eggshaped), Anna Ptaszynski (@qikipedia) & Andrew Hunter Murray (@andrewhunterm) For more check out www.qi.com/podcast
More info...
34 min
Feedback on the new Podbay?
    1x
    15
    15
    00:00:00
      00:00:00