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January 24, 2019
5 Money Challenges To Increase your Savings [Episode 44] “Too many people spend money they haven't earned, to buy things they don't want, to impress people that they don't like.” --Will Rogers You might have heard that quote before. It’s becoming a cliché but the brutal honesty is what makes it so powerful. During my Chapter 13 Bankruptcy, I had to rethink my approach to saving and spending money. Not only do I talk about 5 spending challenges that helped me build up a nice cushion, but how I stacked them to protect my bank account from those unexpected emergencies Here’s a link to an interactive 52-week challenge chart https://www.money-challenge.com/tools/52-week-money-challenge-printable-chart My upcoming book on 365-Day writing prompts for dealing with toxic & difficult people is available for pre-order at www.ToxicPeopleDetox.com support@TheToxicPeopleDetox.com
January 8, 2019
Detaching from Toxic Situations [Episode 43] “Detachment is not that you should own nothing. But that nothing should own you.” Ali ibn abi Talib “True detachment isn’t separation from life but the absolute freedom within your mind to explore living.” Ron. W. Rathbun The good news is that detachment is a skill that you can learn. The bad news is that detachment is a skill that you can learn. Skills take time to learn. There will be moments when we let ourselves get caught up in the moment. That’s human. Emotions are there to serve us, not control us. We must master them, not the other way around. Today we discuss 4 tips for detaching from toxic situations. Your Life in Weeks https://waitbutwhy.com/2014/05/life-weeks.html Subscribe, Rate, and Review, I would be most grateful. support@TheToxicPeopleDetox.com
January 1, 2019
Picking Your Battles- When to Fight and When to Flee [Episode 42] The desire to win is human nature. Winning gives us satisfaction, but is winning always a good thing? People might quote Winston Churchill when he said, “Never give in. Never give in. Never, never, never, never–in nothing great or small, large or petty–never give in, except to convictions of honour and good sense. Never yield to force. Never yield to the apparently overwhelming might of the enemy.” I used to use this quote to justify my actions, however, Churchill said this during the second World War. His country was under attack. This was a cry to fight back against a force that wanted to wipe them out. This quote wasn’t meant to be on some personal development poster. When it comes to interpersonal relationships, fighting to win is not always the best option. In episode, we examine 4 tips for determining how to pick your battles. Subscribe, Rate, and Review, I would be most grateful. support@TheToxicPeopleDetox.com
December 19, 2018
A reader sent me an email about a situation with a toxic boss. She writes, “[My boss] rules with fear, and has fired/made redundant/bullied out many of my former colleagues. She essentially picks one member of staff each week to be her least favourite person - she calls them out in front of everyone, creates issues, overreacts if something goes "wrong". She will email text you in the evenings and on weekends, and it always stresses me out for hours! We don't have HR so I don't really have anywhere to go.” The reader wants to know how to harness this situation for learning and how to detach from her toxic work environment. Take a listen on what I have to say. Want me to answer your questions? Send your questions to support@TheToxicPeopleDetox.com
September 11, 2018
“Just because one person’s problem is less traumatic than another’s doesn’t mean they’re required to hurt less.” J.A. Redmerski This is the 40th episode. I am 40 years old. I have lost 40 pounds. So that’s 40-40-40. How's that for timing! There are two issues I address in this episode. First, there are seasons to life. There are the dark times and the good times. There is a time to celebrate, and a time to buckle down and deal with the issue at hand. Second, during the dark times, be careful not to let people downplay your pain just because there is always someone else who is going through something worse. Let’s embrace the seasons of celebration in your life. Subscribe, rate, and review. I would be most grateful. Support@TheToxicPeopleDetox.com
July 31, 2018
Here's a webinar I did some time ago. You will discover... 1.Why do controlling parents...well...control 2. 11 ways they control and how to counter it 3. Your best defense against them support@TheToxicPeopleDetox.com
July 10, 2018
Narcissists are emotional parasites. They don’t care about the people in their lives. They just care about getting their “fix.” They want you dependent and broken. Whether a romantic relationship, platonic relationship, or even a work relationship, getting involved with a narcissist is a miserable experience. So, today we cover the signs to watch out for. Subscribe, Rate, and Review, I would be most grateful. support@TheToxicPeopleDetox.com
June 12, 2018
Are you in a working environment where people would throw you under the bus without the slightest hesitation? Does getting ahead mean selling their souls and backstabbing you? One listener demands to know why. In desperate times, people tend to do desperate things. When you look beyond all the posturing, you will see the fear that’s driving toxic work conditions. Subscribe, Rate, and Review. I would be most grateful. support@TheToxicPeopleDetox.com
May 29, 2018
Are Toxic Co-Workers Making you the Bad Guy? [Episode 36] Here’s another listener question. The person states, “How to deal with toxic environments where you, the victim, are turned/labelled the negative or toxic person. Especially when you know you aren’t.” There are three powerful methods to deal with this situation. Don’t be deceived by how simple they are. Send your questions to support@TheToxicPeopleDetox.com
May 22, 2018
How old must you be before you can live your own life in their eyes? Today, we explore some reasons why controlling parents are the way they are and how to deal with them. Click on the link to sign up for the Controlling Parents Webinar. https://www.toxicpeopledetox.com/p/Controlling-People-Webinar
May 15, 2018
Have you ever tried to be nice to toxic people? People are often surprised to hear me say that I am not a nice person. Of all the virtues in the English language, being nice would be at the very bottom of my list. When it comes to being a nice person, I will explain whether or not it works and what to do instead. Subscribe, Rate, and Review! I would be most grateful support@TheToxicPeopleDetox.com
May 8, 2018
Getting over a grudge is a process. I would love to say “do these 3 things and the grudge will be gone” but that’s not necessarily true. It’s not about letting go of it. It’s about it letting go of you. The mind can go to some dark places. In this episode, we discuss how to deal with these negative thoughts. support@TheToxicPeopleDetox.com
April 17, 2018
It’s frustrating when someone sabotages your efforts. It’s even more hurtful when that someone is a family member you love. Why do they do that? How do you handle it? Let’s shine some light on the subject today. Rate and review, I would be most grateful.
March 13, 2018
Are you speeding down a dead-end road? Are you throwing good money after bad? Are you on a ship to nowhere? I was there too. What happens when we don’t want to abandon a path after we put resources and time into it? Should you call it quits and move on with your life? In this episode, we give you some questions to consider before making a big decision. Subscribe, Rate, and Review! I would be most grateful.
February 27, 2018
Just a heads up, I will be updating on Mondays only for the next two-three months. I am recording episodes in bulk and will return to a multi-day update in the future. Until then, here are 3 gold nuggets you can use to help you get over the fear of looking stupid. Enjoy! Subscribe, rate, and review! I would be most grateful.
February 7, 2018
Are you doing your best to be an awesome human being and toxic people think that you’re being selfish? Well, we all have selfish tendencies, but we also have our virtues. A listener wants to know why toxic people feel the need to call other people selfish when they themselves are obviously being selfish. Today, I talk about a simple, yet powerful observation to help you but this into perspective. Subscribe, Rate and Review I would be most grateful! Support@TheToxicPeopleDetox.com
January 31, 2018
What is at the heart of emotional eating? How did I gain 100 lbs.? Simple. I wouldn’t admit it to myself at the time but emotional overeating not only led to weight gain but to Type II diabetes. It was a mess. At the time of this episode, I lost 25 lbs. so I still have 75 more to go. In terms of technology, we have it good these days. I can log on to a language website and have a conversation with a Spanish instructor from Ecuador. I can connect to past classmates on Facebook. I can walk into a Sam’s Club and walk out with the latest flat-screen TV. Food is also more accessible now and I can walk out of a grocery store with enough food to last me a week or two. However, this easy access to food has a sinister side to it. Once upon a time, people had to grow their food before they could eat it. Therefore, food was more a necessity than a luxury. They didn’t have weekly social gatherings with refreshments. They ate only when they were hungry. Now, it’s no longer about eating because we were hungry. We eat simply because there is food stored in our house. We eat when we’re bored, when people visit, when we watch TV, when we entertain visitors, or whenever we feel like it. Well, this is where all that weight gain came from. Food was too easy for me to come by. I ate when I was lonely, depressed, and angry. Given my situation at the time, that was almost every day. So, today we explore 4 tips for overcoming emotional eating Subscribe, Rate, and Review support@TheToxicPeopleDetox.com
January 29, 2018
We have another response to an email from a reader. If you are a freelancer, contractor, etc., what happens when clients or customers want to back to complain after services have been rendered? What happens when they comeback weeks, months, or even years after the fact to complain about your good work? support@TheToxicPeopleDetox.com
January 17, 2018
When you rearrange our lives to appease/accommodate people, especially toxic people, don’t be surprised if those same people who you tried to accommodate won’t be with you when it counts. If they are, it’s more of a backseat driver type of thing. People are quick to dictate the terms of your life, but they very rarely take action. Let’s take a look at how to deal with these types. Questions? Comments? Email us at support@TheToxicPeopleDetox.com
January 15, 2018
In today’s landmark 25th episode, I am summarizing the previous 24 episodes in to 6 key points. These points represent the ideal mindset for dealing with toxic people.
January 10, 2018
Key Points 1. The problem of having expectations that are too high or too low 2. How to find that middle ground
January 4, 2018
Key Points 1. Why we tend to fall into the trap of living some else’s life 2. Three powerful things you can do to break that habit 3. A lesson from our often toxic higher educational system Thank you for your comments, reviews, emails.
January 1, 2018
This is a short one as I want to wish everyone a Happy New Year! For this month we are going to focus on crafting your Toxic People Detox game plan. Subscribe to stay in the loop.
December 28, 2017
Don’t let people run you over! In the last episode, I talked about 7 reasons why toxic people are attracted to you. The main factor that govern the rest is that you are afraid of conflict. The problem with some people is that they don’t want to come off as arrogant, pushy, selfish, a jerk, etc. A pushy or selfish person is one who cares only about their own needs and makes no effort to accommodate anybody else. They tend to expect others to drop everything because they assume that their time is more valuable than that of other people. Key Points 1. The Golden Rule for standing your ground 2. How to keep a situation from becoming a battle of ego 3. 7 tips for learning for not letting people run you over
December 20, 2017
There are toxic personality types that make a point of seeking out people upon whom to unload their bad behavior and manipulation. A drama queen, for example, is far more likely to seek out a person who is highly reactive than one who isn’t. They want drama and a centered person is not going to give it to them easily. So, they go for the easy targets. Key Points 1. To understand how toxic people choose their targets 2. To look at yourself and identify behaviors or attitudes that might be making you an attractive target for toxic people 3. How your view of conflict attracks toxic people
December 18, 2017
Of all the vices I’ve mentioned so far, self-righteousness has the potential to be the most polarizing! A self-righteous person will oftentimes defend his or her actions as well-meaning. On the surface, nothing is wrong. The problem is the intention. Self-righteous people can actually make very good points. They’re not always wrong. However, they measure themselves by other people’s abilities to keep some preconceived rules. They may seem helpful, but they are tearing you down by constantly pointing out your inability to live by the rules. In today’s episode, we will explore some underlying reasons why self-righteous people are the way they are and how to deal with them. Key Points 1. 5 Signs to watch out for 2. 4 Tips for dealing with a self-righteous person 3. What is really driving them Subscribe/Rate/Review
December 13, 2017
I have five simple but powerful writing prompts for you all today. The most powerful reason to write is to get out of our own heads. Have you ever heard someone say, or you might have said it yourself, that sounded better in my head? That’s because our minds can play tricks on us. It reminds me of that quote from T.S. Eliot’s “Between the idea and the reality, between the motion and the acts, falls the shadow.” Key Points 1. Writing helps to bridge the connection between out reality and our fantasies. 2. Writing helps to focus our thoughts. 3. When we put things on paper, we activate that part of our brain (the Reticular Activating System or RAS). 4. Once RAS is activated, we begin to look for solutions that are right there in front of our faces.
December 11, 2017
Moving on can sometimes be as difficult as dealing with a toxic situation. We can be left with the emotional fallout and left carrying emotional baggage. So how does one move on? How do you deal with the anger at a person or situation? Key Points 1. Dealing with Anger 2. Severing ties 3. Confronting the negative emotions
December 6, 2017
We have an identity crisis in the US. We don’t let people express who they truly are and they in turn don’t allow us to express ourselves. So, they lose their sense of identity. People can then become disconnected from themselves and from those around them. It was a painful experience, but losing my sense of identity left me open to con artists and other people who took advantage of that vulnerability. It is a slow process, but you can gain confidence in who you are and not be overly dependent on what other people think. Key Points for This Episode 1. The one symptom of poor self-confidence to watch out for 2. Mental and emotional benefits of being comfortable with yourself 3. The cons of confidence – yes there are downsides depending on your point of view
December 4, 2017
That’s why you see books, podcasts, and programs about how to find your authentic self. We tell people to look within. We know that means self-reflection or introspection, but what are you supposed to be looking for exactly? What questions should you ask yourself? In addition to answering those questions, I will talk about your secret weapon against toxic people. Key Points for This Episode 1. Making the distinction between something being simple and something being easy can drastically change your outlook. 2. Crafting your personal portfolio 3. Defining your core values 4. Defining your boundaries This is a direct download to my Personal Manifesto template. http://www.thetoxicpeopledetox.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/12/Personal-Manifesto-Template.pdf
November 29, 2017
Caring about what people think about you can actually be a symptom of another problem. The problem is a lack of self-esteem or self-confidence. There is a direct correlation between our confidence and our anxiety of what others think. That confidence, in turn, is related to our understanding of ourselves. In this episode I will address 4 key points: 1. If anything where to happen to you today, would all those random people you’re so worried about be there for you? 2. Watch out for people who put a burden on you that they wouldn’t take on themselves. 3. Write down you fears (People tend to have trouble with this.) 4. Give people permission to think whatever it is they think.
November 27, 2017
This skill is not only the most important skill in dealing with toxic people, but in dealing with life in general. It’s something that’s missing in our society particularly from the millennial generation. The best way to deal with toxic people is to focusing on creating an amazing life for yourself. It’ vague, but that’s because an amazing life means different things to different people.
November 22, 2017
Drama Queens and Kings cannot resist the opportunity to create conflict, and dealing with their manufactured conflict can be an especially big challenge. Even people who have excellent self-control can lose it when confronted with this kind of emotional manipulation. You can count on the Drama King or Queen to know how to push people’s buttons to get the result they want.
November 20, 2017
6 common types of toxic bosses and how to deal with them. Hate playing office politics? So do I. Think of it less playing office politics and more about protecting yourself.
November 15, 2017
email scripts that you can use to deal with toxic situations at work. There are 11 scripts that are available as a free download.
November 8, 2017
“Funny thing about passive aggressive people, they can smile and throw you under the bus, then get you to apologize for getting upset about it.”
November 3, 2017
There aren’t any easy answers, but there are answers. There are hard truths that may be difficult to accept. Always seek the advice of a professional before making any major decisions.
October 30, 2017
We fear our own success for a variety of reasons, like the fear of appearing arrogant.
October 25, 2017
Five tips to help you keep calm during an argument.
October 18, 2017
Interview with Maci Brinson, a graduate student working on her Masters in physiology at the University of Louisville.
October 16, 2017
Why would you fear your own success and how can you overcome it?
October 11, 2017
Toxic People are difficult, but not all difficult people are toxic.  In this episode, we explore the difference between a toxic person and a difficult person.  Although they are sometimes used interchangeably, I do make a distinction. 1:16 - Why being difficult is not always a bad thing. 5:08 - Gas-lighting and why it's so insidious 7:26 - What to do when someone is gas-lighting you in a conversation 7:37 - Being polite vs being assertive 8:34 - How I got over the fear of being impolite 9:30 - Where is the threshold between being difficult and being toxic 10:58 - The key to dealing with difficult people and toxic people 12:09 - Recap of the first 4 episodes 13:11 - Who is to blame for my troubles 14:02 Episode recap Subscribe, rate and review.  I would be most grateful! www.TheToxicPeopleDetox.com
October 8, 2017
The key is not balance but rather harmony.
October 7, 2017
I discuss my dealings with toxic people and 4 lessons I learned from them.
October 7, 2017
The toxic people detox is a practical approach to finding peace in the midst of toxic people.
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