Matthew Hussey is the world’s leading dating expert for women. He is a New York Times bestselling author, a monthly relationship advice columnist for Cosmopolitan Magazine, and the resident love expert on The Today Show. Love Life is a 360-degree approach to guaranteeing success in your love life, with a focus on Dating, Relationships, Career, Confidence and Family.
After you break up with your ex (unless you flee to another state or get an entirely new group of friends) chances are good you’ll run into him again. So let’s get you prepared for this inevitability. I’ll be honest – there’s no way it won’t be awkward, but if you get yourself in the right state of mind, it will be a lot less awkward. I’ll even give you a line to say to your ex that will immediately break the tension and make you both laugh. Think of this episode like a mini-survival guide; Use my advice and you may even leave the interaction feeling better about your breakup, and yourself, than before.
Ok… let’s answer this age-old question once and for all: Do men prefer women who are “hard to get,” or do they just want a woman who will take control and be the aggressor? The answer is – drumroll please – NEITHER! In this episode, I explain what “Men live for the ‘Maybe’” means, and tell you how you can attract the guy you’re interested in and challenge him to pursue you. In other words, you get to do the choosing, while he does the chasing. Hey, looks like the answer to that age-old question isn’t “neither,” but “BOTH,” after all. ;)
If You Would Never Marry Him, Should You Date Him?
Today’s caller has a really interesting question: She knows for certain that she wants to marry a man who’s Jewish, but she just “accidentally” had a great date with a man who isn’t. What should she do? We all have our dating deal breakers, religion-based or not, so this is an issue most everyone can relate to. I break down this tricky situation and, together, we’ll weigh the pros and cons of enjoying the now vs. cutting things off quickly before anyone gets hurt.
You love him. You want to be with only him. But he wants to keep his options open. He knows how much it hurts you that he can’t give you the commitment you want, so why does he stay in touch and keep stringing you along? The reason is simple. What you need to do about it, well, that’s the hard part. In today’s LOVE Life, I take a call from a young woman named Julia who’s in this painful situation. I explain what’s going on in his head and tell her how to respond. If you, too, have ever found yourself holding onto hope that a man will give you more because he’s not kind enough to let you go, don’t miss this episode.
You may be surprised by my message today. After all, I’m the first person to encourage you to be ambitious. But I want to warn you of the danger of trying to be good at too many things or, at least, the tendency to label yourself as an expert in too many areas. I give you a real example from my own life, and share a brilliant quote from the infamous Jameson (who you may know from my YouTube videos) that will inspire you to stay focused on your passion.
How to Protect Your Heart from a Rebound Relationship
Is it wise to date a guy who just got out of a relationship? How can you know if he’s actually ready to get serious with you now or if he’s still too hurt from the past? Actually, I can’t answer that for you… but HE can. Grab a pen, because in today’s episode, I’m going to give you 3 questions you can ask Mr. Recently Single to uncover his true feelings about his breakup and reveal what’s in store for you if you get involved with him now. I also give you an important warning and my #1 tip for protecting your heart while his heals.
We all have insecurities about qualities we don’t have. Sometimes, gaining confidence is simply a matter of appreciating the other amazing qualities we do have. But today I want to share an even BIGGER secret to overcoming feelings of inadequacy about the things you want most, but lack. It begins with a simple mindset, and only takes one belief to become a reality. Before you tell yourself you can’t do something or put a negative label on yourself, please listen to this episode. It’s never too late…
Our caller, Karen, has a crush on her friend. She thinks there’s a chance he likes her too, but he’s very shy. Is there a way she can test the waters without risking too much, she wonders? Absolutely! In today’s LOVE Life, I’m going to give her – and you – my #1 strategy to take a friend from a familiar context to a flirty one (aka an actual date) without ever risking rejection. Before you know it, you’ll be on the road to romance, with the Friend Zone in your rear view mirror.
Recently, I picked up an iconic book for the first time that you likely read in your youth. (You’ll have to listen to this episode to find out what it is.) In this book, and the actions of its famous main character, I uncovered one of the most important life lessons that I also teach in my live seminars. I want to share it with you today because it’s a quick illustration of exactly what to do when you’re feeling low, abandoned or depressed… and gives you the secret recipe for overcoming weakness any time you feel it taking over. So grab a glass of wine and join our own (5-minute) mini book club for two!
See that handsome guy over there across the bar? He actually wants to approach you. But he’s way too terrified of being rejected to take a shot in the dark. He needs the right signals from you to make his move. In today’s episode of LOVE Life, I’m sharing 3 tips you can use tonight that make you instantly more approachable, along with a fascinating little fact about men that will literally change the way you look at them forever. Intrigued? Have a listen… But be warned, you may have to start turning the men away!
I’m going to let you in on a secret: Men desperately want to feel like real men. Even though we proudly use “product” in our hair and aren’t ashamed to cry at Pixar films, there’s still a part of us that loves it when our masculinity is validated by the women in our lives. So today I’m handing you 3 shockingly simple compliments you can give to your guy that will make him feel amazing around you. Say them cheekily, say them sweetly, it doesn’t matter – as long as you say them – and watch as he swells with pride and affection for you. (Yes, we really are that simple sometimes.)
He’s Got a Close Female Friend? 2 Things that Will Help You Deal
It’s only natural to feel a little jealous of the “other woman” in your man’s life. But if your relationship is worth it, you can deal with a close female friend. However, the key is NOT his expecting you to just “get over it” – he’s got to meet you half way and be part of the solution. In today’s episode, I explain how you can adjust your attitude toward the situation, plus reveal the two, non-negotiable things you need from your partner to protect your ego – and your relationship.
We all understand by now what “Late-Night Booty Call Guy” wants from you. But today we’re looking at a species with a different, much more confusing motive: “Man Who Just Wants to Cuddle.” What is really going on here? Does he want a girlfriend, or just a warm body to keep him company? I take a call from a brave woman named Nicky who admits she’s in this baffling situation with a man she really likes, and I give her advice on how to confront him and find out what he’s really after. Because if he literally wants to “Netflix and Chill,” that’s wasting her time when she could be out there finding someone who wants to cuddle… but only after the kind of intimacy that happens in a real relationship.
Just One of These Will Change Your Whole Love Life
In today’s episode I take a question from a listener named Ashley, who believes that she’s doing all the right things to meet men, but can’t seem to understand why guys aren’t approaching her or asking her out. The bad news? She actually does need to make more of an effort than she realizes. The amazing news? She is actually only one millimeter off from meeting more men than she could possibly know what to do with! It only takes a tiny adjustment in what she’s (and probably you’re) doing right now. I explain exactly how to make this shift and even give you the cutest phrase you can use on a guy you like – stolen right from my own real-life story!
As a business owner who oversees a large team, I’m always striving to improve my skills as a manager. But, let’s face it: even when I’m in “boss mode,” I never really take my “relationship coach” hat off. So, the other day, when I was utilizing a management technique designed to give constructive criticism to staff while still inspiring them to do their best, it occurred to me – this technique would work wonders with a romantic partner, too! In today’s episode of LOVE Life, I’m going to share this simple, two-step technique that will help you communicate better with your man when you want to let him know you’re unhappy with his behavior– and get better results, every time.
I’m never too proud to use a personal anecdote to illustrate my point, even when the experience was a near-disaster. So, if for no other reason than you’re curious to hear the story of my failed TV show and the moment that a nasty contestant tried to tear my credibility to shreds in front of a live studio audience, you should check out this episode. But you should stay for my advice, because I’m going to use my own example to show you how to step into your personal power and control any tense situation without taking on anyone else’s negative energy. It’s my ultimate secret to having impact, and I’m sharing it with you today.
Our caller, Halima, is worried. She’s got a huge crush on a guy at work. And while that situation brings all of its usual complications – what if she makes her feelings known and gets rejected…and then it’s awkward in the lunchroom? What if they end up dating but it doesn’t work out, and then he’s ‘the guy at work that dumped her?’ – she’s got an even bigger concern: She wants a relationship but is concerned he’s just after a ‘hook up.’ In today’s LOVE Life, I break down the situation, help her figure out how to read his signals, and decide whether it’s worth her putting in the “work” to make it happen (pun intended) ;).
Confession: I don’t really care much for Valentine’s Day. But it is upon us, and the sappy engagement ring television commercials and greeting card stores won’t let us forget it. So no matter how you feel about the holiday – romantic and hopeful, jaded and cynical or, like me, just plain indifferent – let’s take this opportunity to learn three simple things that will instantly improve your love life today. Oh, and we might as well eat some chocolate while we’re at it.
I made a colossal mistake the other day on national television. Want to hear the embarrassing story? I’ll tell you in this episode. Not just because I’ve gotten good at laughing at myself for moments like this (though I have – and that’s one of the lessons here), but because it will teach you 3 crucial things to spare you from hurt next time you make a mistake. (Which you will. Because you’re human.) And how do you deal when other people think you’re a screw-up? I give you one amazing piece of advice on how to prove them wrong.
There are few things in life that hurt worse than loving someone who doesn’t love you back. It can make you question your own value: If someone I hold in such high esteem doesn’t think I’m worthy of a relationship with him, then something must really be wrong with me. In today’s LOVE Life, I’ll help you understand why this isn’t true, and we’ll take a look at some of the real reasons why it didn’t work out. I’ll also give you my best advice on what to do while your heart is healing and how to know for sure when the right person for you comes along.
Contrary to popular belief, arguments themselves aren’t what damage relationships; it’s the amount of time that we take to recover after an argument. But no matter how compatible you are with your partner, disagreements are inevitable. So today, I’m going to teach you my secret weapon to end an argument as quickly as possible using six powerful words. When you say these, you’ll immediately switch from being adversaries to teammates and get right into solving the problem…so you can shift your focus from fighting to the fun part: making up.
You broke up with him…and broke his heart. But time has passed, and now he wants to try to be friends. You miss hanging out and having a laugh with him, so what’s the harm? After all, you’re totally over those romantic feelings. The problem is, he isn’t. Is this “friendship” a good idea? What if he has ulterior motives to try to get back together? That’s what our caller, Tyrie, wants to know in today’s episode of LOVE Life. Whether you’ve been on one side of this relationship or the other, I know you’ll relate to the “friends with an ex” dilemma too, so be sure to listen in for my advice on how to handle this situation with honesty and compassion so no one reopens the wounds of the past.
We all do it: Make To-Do lists a mile long and then tell ourselves we’ve had a productive day if we’ve checked off a bunch of “stuff” before our head hits the pillow. But is that really the measure of a significant life? In today’s episode I argue that working hard doesn’t necessarily equal growing, and accomplishing tasks doesn’t necessarily equal real accomplishment. I offer a different way to look at your “to-dos” and suggest a series of questions you can ask yourself to ensure you’re getting the balance and sustainable success that brings true meaning to your day – and your life.
Stop everything and listen to this episode right now. In it, I’m going to give you a quick tip that will get you immediate results with that nagging “to-do” you’ve been putting off forever. (You know which one I’m talking about.) Overwhelm has stood in your way of accomplishing something important for way too long, and today we’re going to “break the seal” and just start the damn thing. OK? OK! Hit “play” and let’s go…
How to Date Your Friend’s Ex (And Not Kill the Friendship)
So you’ve got strong feelings for a guy… He’s funny, he’s handsome, he’s kind, but there’s just one tiny problem: he just so happens to be your good friend’s ex-boyfriend. What do you do? Is it possible to date him and NOT screw up your friendship forever? In today’s episode, we look at the two issues at the core of this tricky dilemma, and I give you the only solution that could possibly make the situation work. I even hand you a script you can use to talk it out with your BFF that might just get her on board with the idea so you can actually have it both ways. (You’re welcome.)
Should you be ashamed of The Booty Call? If you’re just having fun, and you’re really ok with a casual fling, then I say, go for it. The problem is, there’s often more going on behind this so-called “arrangement” – feelings, expectations, unexpressed hopes…and emotional issues that run very deep. Who’s to blame when the balance of power goes awry? And what should you do if you decide you want more? We unravel this sticky entanglement in today’s LOVE Life, and I help you decide if your Booty Call really makes you happy, or if you should hang up on him for good.
This is a Really Gross Question, But You Can Learn From It
As someone who gives love advice for a living, I’ve heard it all. Or so I thought… until I got this insane email question from a listener. Now let me clarify that the question is gross not in a raunchy way (although there is a sexual component to it; nothing too scandalous)… but because of the self-centered, transactional nature of the relationship it depicts. At this point you’ll probably tune in because I’ve piqued your curiosity, but I encourage you to listen because there’s a lesson we can all learn here about – if nothing else – what NOT to do in a healthy relationship.
It Should Take Exactly THIS Long to Get Over Your Ex
Ok, here’s the formula to calculate the time it should take to get over your breakup: Grab a pen. I’ll wait…OK, now add the number of months you were together, and divide it by the number of fights you had about getting married and then… Come on, you know as well as I do that there’s no magic number when it comes to grieving the loss of your ex. But there IS a secret to lessening the pain and moving on to an exciting new beginning. In today’s episode, I tell you how.
“Be yourself.” To most people, this means, “you’re perfect, just as you are.” (Or, at worst, it’s considered a harmless cliché.) But I believe this is awful advice, and in today’s LOVE Life I’m going to tell you why. By the end of my rant – ahem, by the end of this episode – you’ll discover the mindset that will actually allow you to stretch beyond the “you” you always have been, and to grow, achieve, and become the absolute best version of “yourself.”
“There’s so much PASSION with this new guy I’m dating! We can’t keep our hands off of each other!” “I just want a job I can feel PASSIONATE about…” People throw around the “P” word every day, and it certainly sounds like something to strive for. After all, you should feel strongly about the important things in life, right? Well, in this episode of LOVE Life, I share my opinion on the topic of passion. It’s slightly controversial, but I think you’ll agree with me when you understand my reasoning behind it. So let everyone else chase the “sugar rush” of passion. Meanwhile, you can pursue something worthwhile that actually lasts.
A Totally Counter-Intuitive Mind Hack to Get More Done
Ok, you’ve got a million things to do today, and you’re not going to rest until you get it all done. So you work and you grind and you keep checking off your list until…you just hit a wall. You’re out of energy, you’re out of motivation, your list is still a mile long and – wait – what? It’s only 11am? We’ve all had days like this, and when they happen, we either a) just give up or b) try to “push on through” to get it all done, at which point we… just give up. Well today’s message is a must-listen, because I’ve got a totally counter-intuitive mind hack that’s going to help you squeeze much more productivity out of a less-than-motivated day. You’ll be shocked to learn what it is. Hint: You may even get to knock off with a cocktail at 4pm.
“Can you make it to my birthday tonight,” asks your friend who’s planned an annoyingly hipster “drinks thing” in a totally inconvenient neighborhood, starting at 11pm on a rainy Friday night when you’re exhausted and all you want to do is go home and binge on Netflix in your PJs. Do you say “yes” to spare her feelings…and bail later? Or be honest up front and risk disappointing her? What about when your boss asks if you can complete that big project by Monday? Do you agree even though you doubt you’ll have the time or the resources to follow through? In today’s episode of LOVE Life, we’re talking about why your word is the most important thing you have, and why the people who count on you will respect you more when you say the difficult thing first rather than let them down later.
I strongly believe we all have the power to create incredible lives. I even designed a 5-day Retreat process that helps thousands of women around the world, twice a year, do it in a radical way. So why am I, of all people, warning you against “following your dreams?” In today’s episode, I explain why motivational speeches and Instagram quotes actually set you up for failure. But don’t despair – I also share the real path to getting what you want most in life. It may not be dreamy, but it works.
Oh, hey, you left something on the table there… it’s ALL OF THE MONEY YOU’RE WASTING by not negotiating for the things you want! I know, it can be intimidating to ask for a discount or a raise, but a confident person knows her worth and speaks up to get what she deserves. Which is why I’m sharing with you today my 3 Insider Tips to Negotiate Like a Pro. I’ll even give you an opening line you can use with anyone to start the conversation off on the right foot, while still making sure YOU walk away on the winning end of the deal.
This Quick Tip Will Transform Your Relationships Forever
Grab a pen and paper, because I’ve got a (fun) little assignment for you today! I’m going to give you a tip that you can use today that will transform the most important relationships in your life, year-round. You’ll be surprised to learn how simple this tiny, yet powerful, action is to implement, and how much it will mean to the people you care about.
You know me by now. So you know that once in a while I just can’t hold back. I have to rant. And today, my friend, you’re going to hear it. We’re talking about holiday travel. Specifically, airline travel. But I’m not going to do that overdone schtick about airplane food or security lines. I’ve got something original to complain about. But you also know that behind my rants I always have a deeper message to share with you. So buckle up and listen in: I’ve got a challenge that will make not only your holiday travel easier, but your whole life more enjoyable as well.
Want More Than a Friendship With Him? Then You Need THIS…
In today’s LOVE Life, I take a question from a caller named Crystal who wants to know why she’s 28 and can’t seem to find long-term love. I catch her off guard with a few unexpected questions, but before long I get to the root of what’s really going on. I reveal the one essential element that makes men see a woman as more than a friend, and share how to create it even in the trickiest circumstances. If you’re interested in a serious relationship, don’t miss this episode.
Meeting your boyfriend’s family for the first time can feel like a lot of pressure… especially when he saves your introduction for a big holiday get-together. What should you say? How should you act? Should you bring a gift and, if so, what??? First of all: breathe. You’ve got this. I’m going to take you through my simple, 3-step survival guide that will tell you exactly what to do. I’ll also share a secret that will take all of the pressure off. Hint: You actually don’t have to worry about impressing his family after all.
We’ve all done it: Stressed ourselves out before a trip by making epic to-do lists, cramming our suitcase full of the books we think we “should” read while we’re away, and all other manner of sucking the fun out of traveling. Well have I got a TO-DO list for you, and it’s packed with 5 tips to actually make your next trip more enjoyable. Consider this your upgrade to first class relaxation!
Just trust me when I say this: You need to tune in to this episode of LOVE Life. I’m sharing with you an email I received from a woman who has a rather, how shall I put it… unusual obstacle to finding love, specifically in December. When I first read it I thought, well this is insane. But then I realized: This is her excuse. This is the story she tells herself that keeps her from putting herself “out there” and meeting men. So what’s YOUR excuse? We’re going to talk about this obstacle today and I’ll give you a challenge to overcome yours for good.
Most people don’t realize it, but there’s actually more to being a good dinner guest than remembering to bring a nice bottle of wine. Sure, your hosts want to entertain you, but you’ve also been invited because they find you entertaining. In today’s episode, I’ve got 5 quick tips that will help you to bring your best self to the table (pun intended) and add value to the evening. Warning: May result in massive popularity and an increasingly busy social calendar well beyond the holiday season.
Is it really possible to “have it all?” And if so, what does it take to get “it” so we can finally be happy? Everyone – from your best friend to your work colleague to the latest self-help “guru” – seems to have a different opinion on the matter. Well, in today’s LOVE Life, I argue that we’re actually all asking the wrong question. I’ll explain how to identify exactly what you DO want and why happiness (and balance) is a lot easier to achieve than you may think.
It’s kind of ridiculous, when you think about it, just how much time and energy we waste stressing over how to make the perfect first move. What would happen if we just dropped the pretense and showed a little interest, for God’s sake? In today’s episode, I’m taking you back to basics with the simplest – and CUTEST – flirtation that will immediately get a guy’s attention. It’s brilliant because it puts the power in your hands to make the first move, but it’s so irresistible that, suddenly, he’ll be the one chasing you.
Who Will YOU Be Kissing at Midnight? (+ A Special GIFT!)
If you dream of kissing someone special at midnight this New Year’s Eve, but you don’t have anyone in your life right now, it’s actually not too late. I’ve got a challenge for you… well, it’s going to require you to get out of your PJs and away from that cozy fireplace but I promise you it’s worth it because… it’s going to get you meeting all kinds of exciting new men. Who knows, one of them might just be Mr. Right of 2017! To help you make this happen, I’ve got a special free gift just for you, but you’ve got to listen all the way to the end to find out how to get it…
3 (Risk-Free) Flirting Tips for Your Office Christmas Party
You’ve had your eye on Jeff from accounting all year, but you’ve never had the guts to let him know. Now your office Christmas party is here. You’re all dressed up, the cocktails are flowing and, suddenly, anything is possible. You’re feeling flirty, but you don’t want to say the wrong thing or you risk work being very awkward on Monday morning. Look, there’s Jeff right now! What do you say? Well you’re in luck… In this episode of LOVE Life I’m giving you 3 original, adorable, and completely risk-free flirting tips that will break the ice and transform you – in any guy’s eyes – from work colleague to total catch.
How to Invite Him Over for the Holidays (Without Freaking Him Out)
The holidays can be a magical time of new romance and quality time spent with family… But attempting to combine the two? Now that can get stressful. So is there a way to invite the guy you’re dating over to your house for an eggnog without making things seem too serious and freaking him out? Actually, yes. It’s quite simple, and in this episode I’ll give you a word-for-word script you can use that takes all the pressure off and makes him want to meet you under the mistletoe…even if it means meeting your mom, too.
“How thoughtful of you! I love it!” There’s nothing better than hearing those words when you hand a present to someone you care about. But what makes someone a thoughtful gift giver? It’s not an innate quality; it’s a skill that can be learned. In today’s episode, I’m going to share my secret action plan to help you gather clues about the memorable (not expensive) things that will delight your loved ones. Listen up and you’ll be ready – at the holidays, and year-round – to gift them something great.
How do you keep a guy’s interest when you really like him? Do you make him wait for a kiss until after the first date? Hold off on intimacy for as long as possible to show him you’re “not that kind of girl?” Some women think so… until they have a moment of weakness (aka attraction), and break their game of “hard to get.” Then they panic – will he still want me now? In today’s LOVELife, I’ll tell you exactly what I think of playing “Hard to Get,” explain the danger of creating a rule that’s not reality, and give you a script you can use to pump the breaks and reclaim your standard for intimacy while still building attraction.
There’s been a lot of talk about who should pick up the check on a date (my video on this topic went viral recently with over 18 million views!). Many people seem to think the rules of paying in the “courtship phase” are pretty black-and-white. But what about when you’ve been seeing someone for a while and money matters get more complicated than who’s grabbing the movie popcorn? In today’s LOVELife, I go beyond the basics of “who pays for a date” to discuss how to handle it when your partner has more disposable income than you. I’ll show you how to contribute the best way you can to the activities you share, while also gracefully allowing him to treat you, so you can keep the balance of the relationship in tact.
These 5 Magic Words Motivate You to Get Out of the House
It’s no secret that if you want to meet Mr. Right, you have to actually get off your couch. But it can be hard to leave the comfort of home (and Netflix) when you’re uncertain about the situation (What’s the party going to be like? What if I get there and none of my friends show up? Will any guys actually talk to me?). In today’s episode, I share with you a magical, 5-word phrase my friend, famous fashion stylist, and fellow secret introvert Louise Roe told me that changed my ability to motivate myself forever. Say these words to yourself and you’ll open your world up to meeting all kinds of great new guys (starting with opening up your front door!).
Breakups would be a lot easier if feelings were black-and-white. But it’s the shades of grey – we really did love each other, maybe we could have made it work if we shared the same goals – that make them so painful. And make it so difficult for you to trust your decision. Today I take a call from a listener named Tika who just ended a serious relationship after four years and wants to know if she’s done the right thing. I help her sort through her feelings and give her an exercise to use when she’s feeling tempted to go back to the “safety” of what’s familiar. If you’re going through a breakup, this one tip is something you can use right away to instantly boost your confidence in your decision to move on to something better.
Listen up, “Type A” ladies – this one’s for you! If you find yourself so intensely driven to achieve your goals that there’s no time for much else, trust me and take the next 5 minutes to listen to today’s episode. I’m sharing with you my life lessons from years of obsessively focusing on reaching the next milestone in my career. You may be surprised at what I discovered after attaining a certain level of success. I’ll tell you what really buys you freedom, and the truth about what makes you rich. It’s not what you think, and it’ll free you up to actually enjoy your life in the process.
You’re really into this new guy you’re seeing, but as much as you’d like to take things to the next level, he hasn’t even mentioned commitment. So like the smart Get the Guy student you are ;), you keep your options open and continue to go out with other guys. Now you have a dilemma: Do you tell Mr. Maybe-Right you’re dating other men? And, if so, how will that impact your budding relationship? In today’s episode, I show you how to handle yourself in a graceful way that doesn’t use the situation as an ultimatum, yet still shows him how much you’re in demand.
Do you feel entitled to the things you’ve “earned” in your career – title, status, salary, perks – because of how much time you’ve put in to your job? What about the attention, affection and devotion you get in romantic relationships – do you deserve this treatment for “sticking it out” with your partner? If you think this way, I’ve got a major wake up call for you today. This may be a bit different from my usual LOVELife advice, but I strongly recommend you tune in, because I’m going to teach you the one secret to make sure no one else ever “steals your spot” and how to become indispensable in every relationship.
Getting a new relationship off the ground can be tough. Pacing is everything, and if one person emotionally gets ahead of the other too quickly, it can cause major problems. In today’s episode, I take a call from a woman named Tiffany who’s not sure how to regain her footing in a relationship after her self-professed “clingy” behavior caused her guy to suggest they see other people. I show her how to make her happiness a priority, which could end up restoring the balance in her current relationship… or lead to a new relationship with a man who’s even better for her.
Imagine this: You’re casually dating a guy you really like. He makes plans with you on a Monday for the following weekend, and says he’s looking forward to seeing you, and then… SILENCE. Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday…no phone calls, no texts, nothing. What does this mean? Is he still into you or has he completely forgotten about you in the meantime? What should you do? Should you call or text HIM? Or would that seem desperate? This is what our caller, Anna, wants to know. I talk her through this tricky situation, lend her some insight about what’s going on in her guy’s mind and give her some surprising advice. If you know a man who disappears in between dates, don’t miss this episode of LOVELife.
There’s a common misconception that, in order to achieve big things, you need to “stay hungry.” But is that really the truth? Is the key to living an ambitious life never being satisfied with what you have? I challenge that belief in today’s episode of LOVE Life, and reveal what I think is the one (counter-intuitive) attitude that actually fuels ambition and leads to real achievement. It certainly has proven true in my life, and I’ll explain how it will work in yours. Hint: It allows you to be happy NOW, rather than waiting for the moment when you reach that big goal.
We’ve all been there. You send a fairly benign text, and the other person texts you back something like “Hmmm….OK.” What does THAT mean? It seems like they misread your tone. Are they annoyed with you now? Mad, even? So you text back, “What’s up with you?” And then they text back, “What’s up with YOU???????” Before you know it, you’re in a Negative Text-Tone Spiral. Well, I’ve got the simple solution to break this frustrating cycle, and it’s going to save you HOURS of time and emotional anguish. So put down your phone and listen to this episode now…
It’s inevitable: Everyone argues with his or her partner from time to time. But we have to be careful; Often, the people we love the most are the ones we end up hurting the most with our words. In today’s episode of LOVE Life, I’m giving you my 3 rules to fight fair in an argument to protect your relationship from the irreversible damage caused by the top 3 miscommunication mistakes. (#1 might surprise you!)
In our last episode (“Quieting the Voice in Your Head [Part 1]”), we discussed how your inner voice directs your thoughts and feelings and, when allowed to run rampant, can distract you from relaxing and enjoying your life. In today’s episode – Part 2 – I’m going to share with you the secret to quieting the voice in your head. It may be something you’ve heard before, but I’m going to demystify it and give you the simple steps to put it into practice. By learning how to focus on the present, you’ll be a much happier person – starting now.
Do you hear that? It’s the voice in your head… reminding you of your to-do list, nagging at you about your insecurities, analyzing that confusing text you got from your guy last night. This voice is normal, but it can cause problems if it becomes too loud and drowns out your ability to relax. In this episode of LOVE Life – Part 1 of 2 – I’ll hand you one strategy to separate yourself from your inner voice, and give you a challenge that will set you up to learn the ultimate solution in Part 2.
I’ve got a bit of a different message for you today. It’s a lesson I learned from – of all places – my local hipster coffee shop. No matter what your career, from billionaire business owner to bartender, you’re going to want to hear the tip I have for you. It’s all about creating loyalty with small, simple actions we can do every day.
A dead-end career…A lackluster love life…It can feel impossible to stay motivated when more than one important area of your life isn’t going your way. So how do you climb out of a life funk when you’re completely overwhelmed by where to begin? It’s easier than you think (hint: you can start seeing results as soon as TONIGHT) and I’ll show you exactly how to do it in this episode of LOVE Life.
Do you ever feel judged by the people in your life for the decisions you make or your desire to try new things? Ever wish you could just do what you want without worrying about what other people think? Well, you can, and I’m going to show you how. First, it starts with an internal mindset shift. Then, there are two external reactions I’ll teach you that will instantly disarm those “judge-y” friends and possibly even win them over to your side. Either way you’ll be free to do what you want, and they’ll be left without a leg to stand on.
If you don’t have a clear vision for what you want in life and an action plan to achieve it, it’s easy to become overwhelmed, or worse, completely paralyzed. Fear of the unknown, fear of the path being tough, fear of making a mistake…these can all hold you back from a fulfilling life of all of the wonderful things you deserve. The good news is, there’s only ONE thing you need to do to take control of your life and begin to get clarity: Just. Start. Taking. Action. I explain how in today’s episode of LOVE Life.
Do you ever feel judged by the people in your life for the decisions you make or your desire to try new things? Ever wish you could just do what you want without worrying about what other people think? Well, you can, and I’m going to show you how. First, it starts with an internal mindset shift. Then, there are two external reactions I’ll teach you that will instantly disarm those “judge-y” friends and possibly even win them over to your side. Either way you’ll be free to do what you want, and they’ll be left without a leg to stand on.
Why does it seem so difficult meet people as an adult? When you’re in a new city, job, or situation, it can feel embarrassing to try to make new friends. Well, guess what? We all feel this way, and yet most people do want to enjoy a great social life with fun and interesting people. So it’s time drop the shame. I’ve got 4 tips to help you connect with new people and strike up friendships. Before you know it, you’ll be out on the town with your new crew!
There’s a disturbing new trend on YouTube that’s indicative of a larger social problem; perhaps you’ve noticed it too. I’m going to tell you all about it in today’s episode of LOVE Life, and then I have an important challenge for you. Together, we’re going to make a small yet significant step in tackling a destructive issue that plagues young women - and many adult women as well: the Beauty Obsession. But for once we won’t spend time talking about all of the obvious places it comes from; we’ll get right into the (surprisingly simple) solution.
The beginning stages of a new relationship can be incredibly exciting; Along with intense passion for your partner, you start to form feelings of connection and trust. But wait – before you confuse those feelings of trust with physical safety and decide it’s time to stop using a condom, listen to this episode. I’m going to explain why I believe using a condom is actually sexier than throwing caution to the wind. I’ll even give you a line to say to him that will make you more intriguing and irresistible to him than any other woman he’s ever been with.
You’ve been friends with a guy for a while now, but you want more. So how can you cross over from “one of the guys” to “girlfriend material” without risking rejection? It’s a simple formula: Femininity + Sexuality + Challenge = Desire. I’ll show you exactly how to put these elements into place in today’s episode of LOVE Life, plus give you a sneaky bonus tip that will drive him crazy wanting you and give you your pick of other men in the process!
Are you addicted to complaining? In this episode of LOVE Life, we take a look at why it’s dangerous to seek significance in the sympathy of others, and I’ll reveal the most rewarding way to get validation through actually solving your problems. It may not be instant gratification, but I promise it’s the most fulfilling way to live.
If you think all charming people are just born that way, think again! You can actually learn to build rapport with others and make them feel fantastic around you, and I’ll teach you how with my 4 simple tips. The best part? This is something you can do right away – in the very next conversation you have with someone – to charm them in 2 minutes or less. Ready, set, go!
He Thinks Other Women Are Hot: Deal Breaker or Not?
If you’ve been following my advice for even a little while, you know I always encourage you to have standards and expect men to treat you like the high-value woman you are. So when it comes to your partner finding other women attractive, you may be surprised at my opinion on the topic: It’s not necessarily a deal breaker! Find out why I believe this, and the ONE important question you need to ask yourself to know whether he truly wants to be with you above all other women.
Can You Make a Friend of a Frenemy? 4 Steps to Try
Ah, the “frenemy.” One moment she’s a blast to be around, and the next minute she’s tearing you down with her criticism and negativity. Is it healthier to cut ties entirely, or can the friendship be saved? My answer: It depends. Check out this episode for 4 steps you can try to pull the “friend” out of the “frenemy.” Good luck…
(Sorry, guys, but I’ve got to give away one of our biggest secrets…) Ladies: Did you know that most times men walk away without getting your number because our interaction with you ended just 5 seconds too soon? Well, today I’m going to give you 3 simple tricks you can use to extend your conversation with a guy just long enough for him to gather the courage to ask you out. Sneaky? Kind of. But it may just mean the difference between “it was nice talking to you,” and “can I take you to dinner on Friday?” So help us out, ok?
I have a mission for you today: You just need to do two simple things. I’ll be honest, though: It’s going to take courage, and it requires stepping out of your comfort zone. But you’ll thank me for it when you’re done. I did this myself recently, and the reward was well worth the risk. Curious yet? I explain everything in this episode of LOVE Life…
The REAL Cure for Heartache (It’s Not What You Think)
What’s the cure for a broken heart? “Stay busy,” most people will say, “and before long, you’ll have forgotten all about it.” While this tactic may work in the short term, it’s not going to fix the root of your problem. In today’s episode, I’m going to reveal the REAL, lasting cure for heartache, and teach you a how you can take action today to feel better fast.
The Most Fun Way to Trick Your Brain Into Being More Productive
You may not realize it, but there are one or two days a year unlike any other where you just plow through your to-do list and GET. STUFF. DONE. In this episode of LOVE Life I’m going to remind you when those days are (and exactly what makes you so productive), plus reveal my fun productivity hack that tricks your brain into recreating these hyper-focused, super-effective days whenever you choose!
One Crucial Conversation Skill Most People Don’t Use
What makes a great conversationalist? Sure, being knowledgeable about a lot of topics and sharing about them in an interesting way is a great start. But there is one crucial conversation skill that most people don’t use. The funny thing is, this skill is so simple to implement; it actually takes the pressure off of you, helps you to grow, and makes the person you’re speaking with feel amazing about themselves around you. You don’t want to miss this quick but useful tip in today’s LOVE Life.
When your partner is acting selfish, it’s only natural to feel resentful. Why should you be giving, giving, giving when all they’re doing is taking? So you withdraw and focus on your own needs to protect yourself. But this is the beginning of a dangerous pattern, as we explore in today’s episode of LOVE Life. Listen closely because I’m going to share a totally counter-intuitive, yet completely simple approach you can use when your relationship starts to feel like a transaction. Do this and you’ll immediately break the negative pattern and discover whether your partner is truly capable of meeting your needs.
Statistics say that 2/3 of people meet their partner through friends or work. But that doesn’t mean it’s the best way to find the right match for you! Before you start dating Dan from Accounting because you’re bored and think you don’t have any better options, STOP and listen to today’s episode of LOVE Life. I’m going to tell you how you can open your world up to more opportunities with much more exciting men. Bonus: If it doesn’t work out, you don’t have to pass them at the water cooler!
“I like that restaurant.” “Ehh...I didn’t really like that movie.” Listen, anyone can say these things about anything. Liking or disliking something doesn’t mean you have an opinion. Having a compelling reason why you do or don’t like it is what makes you intriguing. Want an example? Boy, do I have one for you in today’s episode… Warning: I go on a bit of a rant, but I think you’ll find it amusing (or perhaps you’ll just think I’m a little crazy). Either way, I guarantee my advice will make you a lot more interesting to the guys you date!
If I asked you to list the characteristics you’re looking for in your dream man, what would you say? Whether we want to admit it or not, most of us have a mental checklist of what we want in our perfect partner. Is it helpful to be so focused, or could it actually hinder us from finding the person we’re most compatible with? In today’s episode, I tell you exactly what I think you should do with your checklist, and explain why the qualities that will truly bond you to a great guy might be the most surprising of all.
When Your Friend Ditches You for Her New Boyfriend, Say THIS…
You love your friend. You want nothing but the best for her, including an amazing relationship. So why does it feel so sucky when she falls hard for a new guy and wants to spend alllllll of her time with him? You don’t want her to make a mistake, of course, but could there be something else going on? In today’s LOVE Life, we explore what happens when your BFF takes a “Boyfriend Hiatus” and what you can say to her to bring her out of it to spend some time with you. But be warned: she’s not the only one getting a reality check in today’s episode!
You’ll Shock Your Boyfriend When You Tell Him to Do THIS…
It’s not news to you that giving your guy space can actually bring you closer in your relationship. But how do you put this behavior into practice, especially when you’re so used to spending all of your time together? Today I’m going to give you a quick, unexpected tip you can use that will shock your man, make him insanely attracted to you, and squash any “dude” instinct he has to rebel against commitment. Bonus points for you being awesome: I guarantee this is something none of his past girlfriends have ever said to him before!
What creates confidence? Many people will tell you that it’s attractiveness. But how can you ever feel good about yourself until you get the validation from others that you look good in the first place? It’s a trap, you see… and the only way to close that gap is to realize that there is another, entirely different way to get your validation and create feelings of confidence. I’ll give you that secret recipe today and give you an everyday-life illustration that will make you understand exactly why it’s confidence itself that makes you attractive in the first place!
On your journey to finding your Mr. Right, you may find yourself getting set up on a date. Whether it’s a cultural thing, or thanks to the (relentless) suggestion of well-meaning friends or family members, suddenly you find yourself sitting face-to-face with a virtual stranger who knows things about you that you’ve never told him. In today’s episode of LOVE Life, I give you some creative ways to break the ice, address the awkwardness, and create a real-life connection of your very own choosing!
Let’s face it – we all work too hard to risk wasting an entire, precious Friday night with someone we just met if the date doesn’t go well. Allow me to propose the low-pressure, high-value first date: My formula allows you to spend some fun, flirty time with that new guy you’re interested in and you’ll still get to meet up with your girlfriends for a proper night out. You’ll leave on a high note, which is guaranteed to leave him wanting more, and before you know it he’ll be calling (not texting!) for a second date.
My (Slightly Embarrassing) Trick to Get Stuff Done
If you’re anything like me, the higher the expectations you set for yourself for what you want to accomplish in a day, the more overwhelmed you get. And the more overwhelmed you get, the less stuff you actually get done. So I’m going to get you in on my (slightly embarrassing) productivity trick that – when you put it into practice – guarantees you’ll actually achieve your goal by the end of the day. And no one has to know how you got there but you and me!
Why do bad things always happen to me? If you find yourself thinking that way, it’s time to STOP. We all face problems and setbacks in life, and having a victim mentality is only going to hold you back from having the happiness you deserve. In today’s episode, I give you the two essential questions you need to ask yourself when something goes wrong so you can learn from it, move forward, and make sure it doesn’t happen again.
We all need other people to help us achieve our goals in life. But the more successful our adviser, the more likely he or she is to be insanely busy! So how can we get on their radar… and even more challenging, their calendar? I’ve got a sneaky tip for you that may be just a tiny bit unfair but, hey – you gotta do what you gotta do to get ahead! Plus, it will make your mentor feel like they’ve done something good with their day too. In the end, it’s a win-win for everyone.
Well of course your best guy friend’s new girlfriend is going to be threatened by you. You two have a history that she can only imagine, inside jokes she just doesn’t get, and a friendship that’s stood the test of time… But the reality is, they’re getting serious and she’s not going anywhere. So how can the three of you make this relationship work? I give you 3 quick tips that will put your guy friend’s GF at ease, build your bond with her, and make sure that both of you stay the most important women in your best friend’s life.
What happens when you meet a guy you’re really into, you have a few amazing dates, and then he has to move away due to circumstances beyond both of your control? You haven’t had time to build a solid foundation yet, but you don’t want to throw away a great connection either. In this episode of LOVE Life, I’ll explore this tricky situation and give you an elegant way to test the waters to see where your guy stands on the issue. In the end, you’ll know whether it’s worth pursuing something more, or keeping your options open for love that’s closer to home.
On this episode of LOVE Life, our caller, Getty, says it best: “Rejection sucks.” Yet it’s inevitable that we’ll all face it in our lives from time to time. So the question becomes: How can we move on from the grief and heartache of knowing: I’m not the one they chose? I break down my (somewhat surprising) theory about insecurity, and explain why taking small risks every day is actually a privilege to seize rather than a chore to dread. With this new mindset firmly in place, you’ll be ready to get back “out there” in no time.
We’re all busy and, often, the people we admire most are the busiest of all. So why is it, then, we can’t seem to help ourselves when writing them an email? We get carried away, typing paragraph after paragraph, hoping to convey every single point we want to make. And then we wonder why they never get back to us! Today, I’m going to give you my 3 Commandments of Email Communication to ensure your message gets across loud and clear, you get the response you’re hoping for, and you yourself come across even more important in the process!
There’s nothing quite like the thrill of “the chase.” When you’re just starting out dating someone new, attraction is at an all-time high and you can’t get enough of each other. But is there any way to recapture some of that excitement and keep the attraction alive long-term? That’s what our caller, Tori, wants to know. In today’s episode of LOVE Life, I reveal 3 ways to keep a relationship fresh and sexy no matter how long you’ve been together. Hint: one of my tips is the reason why certain playful couples in their 80s are still together…
Fact: some men are just liars. And if you discover this trait in the one you’re dating, RUN. But as for all the other good guys out there, they really DO want to tell you the truth. In today’s episode, I give you 5 specific, actionable tips you can use right away to create an environment in your relationship where your man feels comfortable being honest with you about the little things, the big things, and everything in between.
Moving to a new city can be daunting, especially when you’re single. But with the right attitude it can be the perfect opportunity to create an exciting life filled with interesting new friends, fun activities and, yes, amazing new dating prospects. I take a call today from Sarah, who is interested in a guy in her new area and wants to know what comes first: building her social circle or pursuing her love life? My answer to her may surprise you…
Be Extraordinary in Your Ordinary Life (“Boring Hero” #2)
It’s that time again… We’re giving appreciation to someone who deserves credit for the little things they do that make a big difference in others’ lives. In today’s episode of Love Life we’re celebrating Justin, the waiter at a fish restaurant in Seattle, for his warm and welcoming one-liner that I’ll remember forever. Try this one yourself to make anyone in your business - or your life - feel like they belong.
So You’re an Introvert? Don’t Let a Label Define You
In today’s episode of LOVE Life I take a great call from a listener named Sarah who wants to know if certain types of men are attracted to introverted women, or if being introverted is something that she needs to overcome. I turn this question on its head and challenge Sarah: Is she really JUST an introvert? Or might there be more to her than just that label? If you consider yourself shy or not a “people person,” you’ll definitely want to tune in today to discover how appreciating all the facets of who you are can open a world of dating possibilities to you.